Saturday, March 31, 2007
And then I realised that, when I become really sure of what I'm looking for, then I'll know it's finally time to do something about it.
Just had what's arguably the best and most lucid dream in weeks. A dream where, finally, I seem to have found whatever I was looking for in all dreams before, and I could finally stop searching. But when all the dream dust has cleared, I begin to wonder if this is really what I'm looking for? Countless fortune-tellings, card readings and horoscopes seem to counsel against it, any one of each I'll take with a big pinch of salt, but the collective weight of which will cause me to die of liver failure.
Then again, it's not been long enough since I paid a heavy price for not trying, for not giving things a chance. 2 lines in 孙悟空 by 五月天 summarises how I feel:
And now I'm late for breakfast with KH.
Friday, March 30, 2007
One hour away from submission deadline for Iteration 2 of MAJOR PROGRAMMING HEADACHE. Most things are done and we're all stuffed into CCT's room doing fire-fighting. CCT and S are doing the testing, and we're all on standby. Everytime there's a error in the tests, they'll figure out whose code is causing the error, then the guy will get very busy.
When I started this post, I was free. Then, I got busy.. =P
So now, the deadline is over and what we've got is what we've got. It's like a caterpillar walk, the group moves only as fast as the slowest guy in the caterpillar. And even if the faster ones push harder, the caterpillar doesn't move much faster.
Well, theoretically we can make up for it on our final submission, 2 weeks away, but judging by the progress thus far.. =S
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The irritating thing is, when I get tired and I decide to give myself, say, 30 minutes of nap time, I'll spent the entire 30 minutes tossing in bed trying to coax myself to sleep. Then, the moment my mind lets go of the whatever it's gotten a bite of, and enters the sleep cycle, the alarm rings.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Hamsters look real cute when they yawn. =)
Been out for the entire day, traveling up and down and to and fro. Spent $6+ on transport lor, more than on meals today. =S And although I didn't do much, by evening-time I was tired -- maybe moving at 50km/h makes the body tired, even though the body is not making effort to cause the motion.
Congrats to L, for making it to the Stardust finals! Honestly no surprise lah, I was quite sure he had the necessary caliber. After all, he came within a whisker of getting into 绝对 Superstar. I'll try my best to be there for the finals! =)
Programming project deadline a-looming again.. As the project progresses the code gets larger and more complicated, and now it's a tedium to modify and fix. Even though I wrote the code, I don't understand how it works anymore, and I'm spending most of my time trying to figure that out. Add that to the frequent changes in other people's data structures and methods, and maintaining my part of the code is a real headache.. Aargh. =(
On the bright side, I only have 3 lessons for the rest of the week, so I have quite a bit of time to sort the damn code behemoth out.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
PJ sent me this:
Click here to view my house
I enjoyed drawing the house.. haha. =)
And I'll like to see the dark side of the moon someday. =)
When driving, newbie drivers (like me) tend to keep their eyes fixated on the traffic light when waiting at the junction. Actually there's no such need, when the light turns green there will be signs everywhere. The pedestrians start walking, the impatient motorcycle beside you revs its engine, and the even more impatient car behind you gives you a earful of horn blasts. This reminds me of my first attempt at the driving practical test, when I had to turn right and I was so fixated on oncoming traffic that I missed the green right-turning arrow. The car behind mine left me to die (the bastard could have horned), and the oncoming car turned left, and I was left sitting in the yellow box as the green arrow blinked and went out. Damn.
Anyway I can take off the P plate already, but I'm leaving it there because I don't feel ready yet. Driving trips have been limited to familiar places, always with Dad as vehicle commander. What I need is to drive out on my own, to places I don't necessarily know very well. Because I'm no longer learning anything from my trips to and from hall. Dad's understandably worried lah, because he needs the car for his work. I'll have to wait till I can afford my own car bah..
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Sheares Dinner and Dance was great fun! The guys ran amok in a costume shop and we won Best Dressed Table as a result. Someone from our table also took back the grand prize of a flat-panel LCD TV. To be honest I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy myself, and given all the troubles the committee went through, I wasn't sure if they could pull it off. But things went rather well and rather smoothly last night and I think the committee deserve praise for pulling it off despite the odds.
A long-distance call caught me off-balance, but it was good to find out that a far-away friend is coping, even if he thinks otherwise. The urge is strong to offer solutions but I realise that sometimes all I have to do is listen. And I hope by listening, by letting him talk through his problems and analyse it in his head while he's doing so, I've helped him somewhat. That'll make his money and my time worthwhile.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Sorrie for hopping away from MSN so suddenly, but I needed time to myself to think. Read Windz's post about faith and alchemy, and it just got me thinking..
Can guess what's bothering him lah, why the talk about Fire and Water. Expected something like that to crop up sooner or later, also. But I have faith (yes, Windz, I do!) that it'll be sorted out eventually, as long as Fire and Water make the effort. After all coexistence is all about adjustment, just like how we all adjust ourselves to coexist with society (and vice versa, though that's less noticeable). A first-time cook tends to overdo things. (Suddenly doubt whether I'm on the right track, so I'll stop here, haha)
And I think and I think and my brain does a breadth-first search and suddenly there're so many leaf nodes that I've lost my original train of thought. Haha.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Busy, busy day.. Serves me right for sleeping/slacking so much this week.. And I'm not the only one: lots of people listing their homework on their MSN nick, or putting "DND" (not to be mistaken with DnD -- Sheares Dinner and Dance is tomorrow). Because this is the period when project deadlines loom.. So jiayou everyone, and so will I!
Here's a really nice old song that I just got reacquainted with (sorry that it's in 繁体):
有夢有朋友 - 伍思凱／優客李林
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
For some reason, I'm really really sleepy. I haven't been doing a lot of work, so I guess it's karma from all the late nights these past 20-odd years.. =S A 1-hour nap did nothing to help things, I'm still yawning and tearing and totally unable to get any proper work done. MSN's not working at night either. So I guess I'll go to bed real early and wake up real early tomorrow morning to do my work..
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
There's this rational urge to grab 某某人 by the collar and shake him really hard. But MSN only allows nudges, and that just doesn't have the same impact. He cannot understand something, and he needs help. So I said, ok, I'll be online, any questions you have just ask. Instead he starts whining about how there's no need to change the data structure, and can we rollback to the previous iteration's code and use the old structure. And how it's a waste of time and effort to make use of the new structure. Well, it really is a waste of time and effort for me, to be online to listen to all that. [takes deep breath] [exhale slowly] Ok, I know he's trying. That's why I'm trying to help him. It's just that right now I feel shaking him very hard and shouting into his ear will help him a lot. =P
I might be down, but it makes me feel better when people around me are happy. I'd really, really hate it if people around aren't happy because I'm upset.. unless I'm upset with them lah. Haha..
Newest toy is this (Facebook me!). And on it, TXP wrote about us: "We hooked up in 1991, and it's been 16 years of pain and gain." I might not show it, but I'm really, really, really happy to have him as a really, really good friend, someone I know I can talk to, someone with whom the bond is almost closer than family, where we can not speak for a long time yet never feel like strangers. =)
Now I'm gonna go bury my little 'un..
Monday, March 19, 2007
R.I.P.28/2/2007 - 19/3/2007
I'm not good at eulogies. I'm only grateful that you've graced my life, even if just for a little while. You'll always be my little 'un.
The photos above are from last Thursday.. Pardon the lousy quality, I'm not very good at photography =P
The photos below are from today, after I got back. The babies have grown so much! But one of them is much smaller than the other, even though they're only a few minutes apart.. I took an instant liking to the smaller one, because it's really cute, and it's not timid.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
This is why you should never laugh at others' misfortune:
Baby hamsters' photos coming soon..
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Just watched 300, with Duane and PF. And, like Duane, feel like killing someone now. =P The show was lots of drama-mama, and lots of blood and gore, but it was good. Nothing like good ol' mano-a-mano, hack and slash action to get the adrenalin going and stir the blood. And LY's right, it's inspiring in a way. =)
And I realise that I never did wish PF happy birthday.. So here it is. Happy birthday, and hope your project teammates will be more 争气!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
I don't think I've posted the lyrics to my current blog song:
伍思凯 - 我们之间
在感情的世界里 多少算多 多少算少
在感情的天平上 什么算好 什么算不好
跟往事的是是非非 对对错错 苦苦煎熬
哪一天我们才能清楚知道 (我们曾在同一个地方停靠 / 世上的事总是难以预料)
将往事的是是非非 对对错错 抛在脑后 都抛在脑后
And I thought and thought and still have no idea how to respond. Then I realise that there comes a point beyond which words are meaningless. And whatever I say now will not be an adequate expression of how I feel. So I leave you with this song. =)
The babies are taking solid food now. And they love to to pry at their mother's mouth, trying to get at the food in her cheek pouch. And the mother is taking it all in good spirit, even though they love to do it while she's trying to sleep.
There was a big fight yesterday between the parents and blood was shed. I confined the wounded one in their 'summer palace' for a while before I realised with a start that it was the mother. So I put her back in, and luckily they haven't been fighting since. The whole affair pushed my bedtime back by almost 2 hours.. I'd put the summer palace's water bottle into their main cage, to supplement their water needs, but they managed to chew a hole in that and make it unusable. So I gotta make a trip down to the pet shop this week to get a new water bottle.
The babies learn everything from their mother. They ignore the food between my fingers and bite the fingers instead.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Supposed to be taking a nap but can't seem to get to sleep, so I'll tell myself a bedtime story =)
The Elm Trees
Disclaimer: Not geographically accurate.
Once upon a time, on a hill there were 2 elm trees. Tree A lived on top of the hill, while Tree B lived halfway up the hill. The hill was big, and there were many trees, and these 2 trees did not know each other.
However, the soil on which Tree A stood was unstable, and as a result it was slowly sliding down the hill, a few inches a year. Tree A noticed this, of course, but could do nothing about it. And down it went, until, on a particularly wet year, it met Tree B.
Of course, interactions and emotions in trees are very very different from that in humans, but what both trees felt as they saw each other is probably equivalent to what we humans call love at first sight. However, their joy at meeting each other was tempered by the fact that, in way too short a time, Tree A will go on its way down to the bottom of the hill, and they will never see each other ever again. Tree B, regrettably, stood on firm ground.
In the short time that they have left, both trees tried frantically to figure out how to stop their imminent separation. They twined their branches together, but both knew that those thin branches will simply break under the stress. They were too far away to use their main branches, that might be strong enough to withstand the forces, and have no way to get closer -- elm trees, by their very nature, do not bend very well.
The two trees would not give up. The distance between them grew slowly closer, as Tree A continued its slide down the hill; but never were they close enough to use their branches to hold each other. Then the distance between them stopped shrinking, and gradually they drew apart.
It was another particularly wet year, where downpours lasted a week, to them just moments. Excruciatingly long moments, because all too soon they will be forever separated. But that year, the distance between the two trees never grew. Nor the year after, nor the year after that. The soil continued its inevitable decline, until it became a small hill, in its own right, at the bottom of the large hill. But throughout those years the two trees stood together, both unmoving. The wind brought whispers of joy as it flew through the leaves of these two trees.
It wasn't until much later that humans discovered the place, and earmarked it for development. As they cleared the forest the workers discovered an interesting phenomenon. Two trees, side by side, whose roots were all intertwined and fused. "They were almost one tree, instead of two," commented a botanist who was called down, "supporting each other, sharing nutrients and water.."
Now for a second try at napping =)
All the crap talk about growing up? "It's only words, but words are all I have to take your heart away." But I am trying lah, it just wouldn't be instantaneous..
And I realise my posts are becoming increasingly crappy so I'll make an attempt to improve things..
Anyway here's the good news that I've been keeping for almost 2 weeks now.. Still using my lousy 1 megapixel phone camera, because last night when I borrowed my neighbour's phone the hamsters weren't cooperative. It's much, much easier to take their photos when they're asleep..
My darling hamsters are the proud parents of 2 babies! I'd been afraid to say this, because of what happened to their previous 3 births, but now the babies are 12 days old and I dare say they'll survive. =)
My only regret is that I've been busy the past week, and they've learnt to walk while I wasn't around. Now the mother's having her hands full trying to keep them in one place.. So it's not only humans who have problems with kids running amok =P
Last thing on the agenda for today. Sheares Production 2007 has finally come to an end. My idea of a slack job turned out to involve more sweat than last year's did. Taking care of food & drinks for ~50 people ain't an easy task, even if I'm just a minor member. And being the only guy in the committee means I cannot slack from the heavy duties. =P Kudos to everyone else on the production team for doing such a great job, and making my sweat worthwhile. Thanks to the gals in my committee, too, for being so nice to me (with the exception of one, hehe), and making work so fun. Especially SK for teaching me how to make barley and green bean soup. =)
This also marks an end to my commitments for this year. Duane and PF will be very happy bah. ;) All that's left is some knot-tying, and I can go back to slogging for my projects. =S
Sunday, March 11, 2007
I feel almost guilty to be so bored and relaxed amidst the hustle and bustle backstage.. I even had the time to let the make-up team play with my hair. =P It is such a marked contrast to last year when, as the chief Stage Manager, I was one of the key generators of all the hustle and bustle. Didn't get to watch the performance yesterday, which ain't such a bad thing because I can't help but compare everything with last year. Day 1 went well, and I hope everything today goes as smoothly.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
So, I grew up. It's well past time I did that, anyway.
Friday, March 09, 2007
I only slept for 1 hour yesterday. And I've been working non-stop since Geyao concert yesterday, except for that one hour. Now I'm all kinds of tired, and I'm stuck in the computer lab waiting for CCT to send me the project report so that I can print it and submit it. And the code's overdue and still not done, so when I get back I gotta carry on working at it.
PF asked if I was free for a movie, and I'm sorry to turn her down. There're quite a few movies I wanna watch, actually. I'll see if I can make some time next week..
And now that I'm tired, I'm stumbling around causing damage, doing stupid stuff and saying stupid things again. Damn.
There are many things I've never done before, and therefore am no good at doing. For most of them, I can seek advice and help from others. But for some things, I think it's better to figure out how to do it myself. After all the situation is different for different people, so there's no manual with step-by-step instructions that I can follow. So I hope people can be patient and forgiving while I stumble my way around, and hopefully I wouldn't break too many things. =P
And I know I'm getting old when talking cock = talking about serious stuff like buying property and CPF and nanny-state policies. I hope E wasn't too bored, but there hasn't been enough gossip since we last met.
It's exciting to once again be part of a big production. And I'm going to be playing a slightly bigger role than I expected because both assistant stage managers will not be there in the morning, which is one of the most important times, when everything is moved to the theatre and set up. So I'm going down early to help out where I can.. really early.. And since I still have a lab report and one big chunk of my 3215 project undone, I don't think I'll be getting any sleep tonight. :S Hope I can tahan these 3 days..
No, no good news yet. No time to take photos, though I've secured a good handphone camera. Back to work then..
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Wah kao eh kena sabo.. Thanks hor cousin.. =S
Rule of the game: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!
1. Sometimes I tell people I don't eat prawns, actually I'm just lazy to remove the shell.
2. I often think aloud.
3. I think a lot in the bath. That's why I take so long.
4. I don't like to brush my teeth right after I wake up.
5. Andy's Rule of Tardiness: No matter how late I am, someone will be later.
6. One of my front teeth is chipped. I can't remember exactly how it happened by my brother has something to do with it.
7. I always wake up 5 minutes before my alarm is supposed to ring. Unless I'm really tired.
8. I'm a closet fan of Charmaine Sheh (佘诗曼)
9. I took a puff of my grandpa's cigarette when I was 3 or 4. Made me swear off smoking. =)
10. I can finish 2 medium-sized English novels in one day.
6 not-so lucky people:
1. Granddaughter =)
I thought such things were dead already?!
It's been so long since I really mugged.. I've gotten used to the idea of understanding concepts instead of memorising details, of hint sheets and formula sheets, that tomorrow's test is going to be a real challenge for me.
I wonder if I'll be happier if my CAP drops below 4.5 and I stop trying to keep it on track for 1st-class honours. It's a dangerous thing to wonder.. =S
Tuition with J and P was fun, as usual. We spent more time chatting than doing actual work, it's their last week of school before the holidays and they weren't in the mood to study. But I went through some maths with them anyway and it seemed to have helped. I will miss them when I go for exchange.
Got some good news that I think is now safe to share with everyone. Will post some pictures once I get hold of a proper digicam. =)
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
First, a nice comic to share:
I should like to watch The Phantom of the Opera, anyone wants to watch it with me?
Free days are no longer free.. And it seems to me that workload doesn't increase linearly with the number of module credits, but exponentially. Everyday I'm putting in solid hours into my 8MC project.
Just popped onto Windz's site and noted that there are no 'koala' pictures. =P Tell me more about Stockholm! I'm gonna be going there soon.. Most importantly, is it F*R*E*A*K*I*N*G cold?
Gonna be busy for the remainder of the week. Lab and tuition today, my last midterm test tomorrow, Sheares Productions from Friday to Sunday, and the MEGA-Project overshadowing everything (Iteration 1 + report due Friday!!). Midterm results (those that have come back) aren't as good as they have to be, so I really have to buck up!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
My mum told me and my brother a story last week. Quite meaningful so I thought I'll share it here.
There once lived a king who had a very wise advisor. No matter what happens he will say "这是最好的安排" (loosely translated as "this is the best arrangement"). He also gave very good advice so he was respected by king and commoners alike. Wherever he went, the king brought the advisor along.
One day, the king went hunting. He shot a wild animal and happily charged forward to retrieve it, without waiting for his retainers. But the wild animal was only injured, and pounced upon the king in a rage. His retainers caught up and killed the animal, but in the struggle the king lost a pinky finger. When the advisor rode up and saw the wound, he said, "这是最好的安排." The king was furious. He didn't understand why the advisor would say that despite his losing a finger. In his fury, he wanted to execute the advisor. But his retainers pleaded with him to spare the advisor's life, saying that he has been of great service to the king and nation. The king relented, but declared that he'll imprison the advisor indefinitely. On hearing this, the advisor said again, "这是最好的安排." "We'll see how good an arrangement this is!", said the king angrily. So the advisor was imprisoned in the deepest dungeons.
The king continued to hunt, but without his advisor. His forays often took him to the borders of the kingdom, beyond which were savages and uncharted territory. On one such trip, the hunt went far beyond the borders, and the entire party was ambushed by savages. The king was knocked out in the melee, and and he came to he found himself tied to a totem pole, the only survivor of the hunting party.
The savages, seeing that the king's awake, came up to him and began discussing his fate. "You have spared the right person," said one, "He's obviously of some status, and he's all plump and white. The gods will love this sacrifice!" They began inspecting him, making comments as they did. Suddenly one of them cried out in dismay, "Look, he's missing a finger!" Moans of dismay echoed through the savages. They had to sacrifice a person who was flawless, or their gods will not be happy. Reluctantly, they set the king free.
Upon finding his way back to his palace, the king immediately ordered the release of the advisor. "I believe you now!" said the king, "My missing pinky finger saved my life out there. I should never have imprisoned you." "But it was, indeed, the best arrangement," said the advisor, "If you hadn't imprisoned me, I would have ended up as the sacrifice instead of you!"
This story is a variant of 塞翁失马 story, and the message is the same: all things happen for a reason, and things also have an uncanny ability to turn out right eventually. So when you are faced with misfortune or unhappiness, do not despair. Some good might yet come out of it. =)
Monday, March 05, 2007
Just witnessed an interesting phenomena again. Interesting from a third-person point of view, because of the inconsistency of behavior. Also interesting because my own behavior was also inconsistent, when I could have done something more consistent. Probably the distances in hall are too close, such that it gets tiring to smile and wave each time you see someone you know. Just like nobody smiles and waves to their parents everytime he sees them at home. Even though we really don't see each other that often, erm by this I don't mean the parents.
On hindsight it is quite true, that people in close proximity soon drop forms of polite greeting. But what we have in hall is actually pseudo-close proximity. And I say pseudo-close because this kind of proximity is has more in common with the proximity between inmates in a jail, than the kind of proximity defined as living together under the same roof. We all live less than 10m apart, yet for the most part we live in our own cell-like rooms, kept in not by the desire to be alone (not always, anyway), but by the tons of work we have to do. =(
It's all interesting food for thought. Breakfast for the brain, haha. All the same, I think next time I'll try smiling and waving.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
I've never realised how cute this song is until now..
词:陶喆 娃娃 曲:陶喆
快乐像一盘hot and spicy 宫保鸡丁 yeah
i don't care if 你发大小姐脾气
ooh...you're my baby
ooh... 爱就像是宫保鸡丁 yeah
oh..baby i don't know
(please be my little chickadee)
i don't care if 你发大小姐脾气
ooh...you're my baby you're my baby girl
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Project meeting went well. I just gotta remember that everyone's trying their best, and I must stop measuring people using my yardstick. And be more patient.
Now that Friday's come and gone, I'm feeling tired. Don't feel like doing anything, barely feel like caring about anything. Just wanna relax for a while and do things of no consequence. So I'm looking forward to the weekend at home, where I can leave the worrying to my parents. =P
Friday, March 02, 2007
I doubt anyone didn't play more than he/she should have during the one-week break. Therefore many people have had a hectic post-break week, with the exception of my neighbour across the corridor, whose life has been taken over by Maple Story. -_-"
And March is a busy month for hall, with something happening every weekend (no, weekdays aren't enough =S). As if the school workload isn't enough. And we mustn't forget that our primary aim here is to study, so amidst everything we must put in effort to keep pace with lessons, at least.
So, to everyone who's slogging in hall now, jiayou and take care. Drink more water and bird's nest too, if you have any. And sleep time should take priority over hall stuff, IMO. =P
Did 2 midterms yesterday under severe time constraint. My brain processor needs an urgent upgrade. I don't think I'll do well for either, but I think I've done enough to pass. Which is purely consolatory, because I have to aim way higher than just a pass..
Went out for supper with E and.. E2. =P Was working on my project but when they ask I definitely will go lah. Had to limit it to Fong Seng, though, and not HK Cafe, so that I could get back and resume work faster. We'll go HK Cafe next time bah. I wasn't thinking before I spoke, and I think my teasing went overboard a few times, and I'm still sorry even if E didn't seem to mind too much. Anyway hope L can join us next time, too.
I took a look at the latest files for my MEGA-Project and couldn't stop swearing. I anticipate doing a lot of hand-holding during my project meeting later. Maybe I should stop trying to make him understand, just tell him what to do instead. Or maybe I should ask KF to do the explaining, she's got a lot more patience than I do.. =S
Sheares Hall Acers