The Human Instrumentality Project

Monday, April 30, 2007

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I wish songs will stop hitting me like bullet trains.. Especially songs like these:

Richard Marx - Slipping Away

I said I wouldn't cry
The day you say goodbye
It's not like I'll never see you again
I guess the things you need
You just can't get from me
But you still can reach out to me now and then

My head is spinning round
All my defenses down
I have held the world in my hands
But I can't keep you from slipping away,

If time will show me grace
And you to a better place
Then I can live knowing it wasn't in vain
It hurts so much to know when love means letting go
And no one can tell me that they've felt my pain

No strength can stop you now
Will someone show me how
How to live it over again
'cause I can't keep you from slipping away

I will never break your power over me
I could never shake the thought of you burning in my mind
You're all I see

Repeat Chorus

Oh, I can't keep you from slipping away
Oh, slipping away

Friday, April 27, 2007

Just for the record, I wanna say that this time I tried. Every semester.

Anyway just finished my exam for my most hated module this semester and I was surprised at how much I wrote. For the first time in 4 semesters I used more than one exam booklet (OK, it's only 10 pages and 1 line, and that at double-spacing, but for me it's some sort of achievement, especially considering how little I studied.

Anyway it's not a problem with one nor the other, it's merely the combination of both that doesn't work.

Anyway obscure entries aren't fun to read, right? But anyway the point is that you shouldn't be getting your daily fix of me via this blog, I'm now a strong proponent of face-to-face talking. Which I haven't been getting enough of lately. So, in case PF or anyone else interested reads this soon enough, I'm free from now till Tuesday. I'm planning to slack at home throughout but if anyone asks me out I'm more than happy to go anywhere and do anything. Well, almost anything, except watch movies where the only draw is a supposedly handsome man (don't mind watching pretty ladies, though).

This is an extra long and crappy post, a fallout from the recently concluded exam and perhaps proof that my malaise over the past few days is actually because of that damn accursed exam.

And the pattern seems to be, the worse my luck in life, the better my luck in exams and the better my academic results. So if I walk into a lamppost anytime over the next week, or a flower pot falls on my head, I know I'm going to ace my last exam next Friday (assuming, of course, that I'm still in condition to take it after my misfortune). And, if that's the price to pay for 1st-class honours, I seriously don't mind not getting it.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Sometimes, instead of trying to surmount every obstacle in the way, it is better to turn back and choose another route.
The run of bad luck continues, and I'm not helping by doing stupid and careless things. I've caused quite a few people quite a bit of trouble today, and I'm sorry. I suppose, after all, I wouldn't mind exchanging intelligence for some other things. After all so much brains is wasted on me. I'd much rather be a little more careful and a little more thoughtful and generally stop being a liability to people around me.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

There is such irony in life..

Testing to see if this works..

Watch more such videos at

Monday, April 23, 2007

I'm tired of feeling.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

One by one, they left as silently as they came. And now there's only one left. Why give birth to so many only to choose one? Or will this last one be taken away as well? How many more heartbreaks must my hamsters and I bear? Sigh..

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Sherman's Lagoon is back! For a while the tyrannical profit-minded syndicate stopped the daily online strips. But now it seems they're back and I'm happy. I mean, come on, newspapers aren't going to stop carrying comics just because they're available online, and no one's gonna subscribe to comics online when they can read it in their papers.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

This post got censored because I don't want to give the "appropriate people" inappropriate ideas.. haha.. Wanted to copy Windz's style but as I told him, people will read and worry because they don't know what the fish is happening, and whether it's good or bad, and whether it concerns themselves. Which is why he should double the amount of info given and post two-liners. ;)

Anyway life is like playing bridge lah. Only the players keep changing tables. So, it's not just the hand you get that's different, but the entire game dynamics changes each time. Still, more experienced players fare better. Frustratingly, the only way to gain experience is to play more, and therefore to lose more, too. And the stakes are high: not money, but BIG intangible words like health and love and career and family and happiness. And on some tables you play for LIFE, which is like everything. Or FUTURE, which is like everything but your life, which means you'll still have to be around to suffer the absence of everything else. The fact that there will be losers is never in doubt. The question is, are there any winners?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I'm not gonna take another History module ever again if I can help it.. All the readings have my head feeling like an overinflated balloon. It's like the kind of feeling I get sometimes at a buffet, when I'm full yet trying my best to clear the last few items from the table; just that instead of feeling bloated at the stomach I feel bloated in my head.

Finished my Physics way ahead of time, I hope it found space in my head to settle down in amidst all the History junk. Been watching Patlabor: The TV Series to help my brain cool down.

Anyway you'll see a lot more posts for these 2 weeks, while my brain is on overdrive. Now on to random stuff..

- Sometimes it makes a difference just to ask, even if the answer was not in doubt. And who knows, the answer just might be something unexpected.

- Making a pact with the devil might bring huge immediate benefits, and the consequences seem so small, but in the long run the devil always makes a profit, whereas you'll lose everything.

- I'm going to call my 3rd hamster Spright. 3 healthy babies left, and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that they'll all make it.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Thanks pJ for helping me rediscover this song; heard it on radio a long time ago, thought it was really nice and then forgot all about it. =P Just like the song I heard today.. what was it again? Damn.

求爱复刻版 - 可米小子 - Hey Hah!


Final project presentation went ok.. But it was really demoralising to find out that our program failed 61 out of 300+ test cases.. Right after CCT and I were discussing the possibilities of passing everything, as well. Everyone put in a lot of hard work, and we tested it and everything seemed fine and it seemed like there was nothing our program cannot handle, yet the results are.. shameful. And it was really awful to have to stand there and explain why each individual test case failed, especially when so many of them were due to my failure. I really expected a lot more of myself, and probably the rest did, too.
So we've been offered half a chance: we have today to patch things up and submit a fixed version, which will help only in the event that another team does as badly as we did and there's to be some sort of tie-break. Even though the returns are dubious we snapped up the offer anyway, because we are proud of our work, even if it turned out to be one very leaky boat, and we really want to make it right.

So my study timetable suffers its 1st setback, even before it's started. Well, that's what Saturday's for..

Just did my study timetable for this semester. This semester's a little more relaxed than the previous semester, when I had to shrink my break times and extend my study hours to fit everything in. I've only got 4 papers this semester, one of which is S/U and another is a GEM, so there's a lot less material to cover. But still absolute focus is still necessary and since I have less things in my head this semester compared to previous ones let's hope I can last the distance and stick to my own damn schedule.

Spent the weekend doing things of no consequence. Like play a lot of PS2. Shiok. =)

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Just came back from a wonderful performance by Budak Pantai. Really funny and they sing well, too! I'm so gonna get their CDs..

And something more suited for next morning but I'm gonna post it here anyway. The only way to find out whether something is a mirage is to try to touch it. Just gotta keep in mind not to be too upset if it really turns out to be a mirage. The alternative is to walk away without ever finding out, but can ya live with that for the rest of your life?

And something lighter to end off this post. My hamsters have done it again.. 4 healthy babies, and I've had to step in twice already to save them, first from an overzealous family, then from a mother who cannot count (but I don't blame her la, hamsters aren't good in maths). Ask me if you want anecdotes =)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

他和她 - 蔡淳佳


Is it a sign of growing up, when you start seeing things in more dimensions that you used to? Our eyes see only in 3 dimensions, but our mind sees it in more than just 3 dimensions, and our heart sees it in even more. And what happens when you don't understand what you're seeing? Maybe humans were born knowing how to read the multiple complex dimensions, but somehow the older we grow and the more we study we lose our ability to decipher the meanings in those dimensions beyond the third.

Oops another morning post.

In other news, my hamster is pregnant. Again. This time I'm gonna be giving away/selling any survivors, 3 is more than enough.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Was supposed to blog, uh, 2 days ago.. That was just moments before I lost the battle with temptation and picked up the PS2 controller. So my ambitious plans for finishing up most of my projects over the long weekend went up in smoke, but I found out that my reactions and skills in Samurai Warriors are still more or less there. =P

Driving with the family ain't fun at all. It's got nothing to do with my driving skills, which I think are adequate. It just that it's me at the wheel, and suddenly even my mum, who does know how to drive, thinks she can drive better than I can. Parallel driving is a real challenge when everyone around you is trying to tell you how you should do it.

Grocery shopping with the family, however, can be quite fun. We went to visit the new Giant Giant at Tampines, and weren't very impressed. Considering how much floor space they have, their selection is still rather limited. They still use up one chunk selling electronics, of all things, when Giant Courts is just next door. My bro and I roamed the place, stopping for a long time at the alcohol section, and drooling over the frozen baby scallops at the Japanese food section. But, basically, they are but a poor imitation of Carrefour, and there's really no point going all the way out there to get stuff that can be found at the supermarket beside my house.

I did spend some time doing schoolwork, but that's to the accompaniment of my brother bashing up digital bad guys across the room, and I was typing an average of one word per minute. =S

Sunday was 扫墓 day, when we went to visit my paternal grandma at the columbarium. This year, a lot more people came down than expected -- my grandma's probably pretty happy about that. My extended family is really good at producing sons: my father and his siblings have among them 7 sons and 1 daughter. More, actually, but the family is so big and so complicated that I've lost count. It's so complicated that I have a niece who's 1 year older than me, and when I meet relatives my dad's age I dunno if I should call them uncle or kor kor. =P

Anyway there were 5 of us cousins present that day, and when all of us are of such similar ages it's always inevitable that comparisons are drawn. Especially when one of them is the same age as I am and has the same name, too. The differences are obvious. 3 of them serve in the army (my "twin" is a pilot) and are tanned and big-sized. They talk about cars and career. My bro and I are still studying, and we talk about games and computers. Actually there's nothing much to compare lah, we're on different paths. And the relatives did no more than comment that all the army boys have short spiky hair while the 'scholars' have long hair.

That pretty much sums up the long weekend.. This week's the last week of school and I only have one lecture in 2 hours time. But I've got 2 projects due on Thursday so I'll be pretty busy still.. =(

Friday, April 06, 2007

Half an album of bitterness, heartbreak and despair, and then suddenly this slammed into me like a bullet train.

Good Enough - Evanescence
Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
and I've completely lost myself and I don't mind
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely
now I can't let go of this dream
can't believe that I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough
its been such a long time coming, but I feel good

and I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
pour real life down on me
cause I can't hold on to anything this good
am I good enough
for you to love me too?

so take care what you ask of me
cause I can't say no

Anyway I think I prefer the first album.

There seems to be a correlation between when I post and what I post about. Morning posts are...sober, for want of a better word. The rising sun dispels the fog and reveals the world in full detail: all that's beautiful, but also all that's ugly. I suppose it doesn't help that my dreams are rarely good (and when they are, they're too good to be true =S).
Afternoon posts are sian posts. Once my day has started I'm generally bouncing from one activity to another, be it work or play. I wouldn't take time off whatever I'm doing to post, unless something upset me. So if I'm posting in the afternoon and it ain't an upset post, I'm probably too sian to play computer games even.
Nighttime posts sum up my mood for the day. During full moon nights a door opens to the hidden side of me and it might reveal itself here. ;) I try to keep the mood here light so most times if I've got nothing good to say by nightfall I wouldn't post here. But in the morning I can't help myself from posting heavy stuff. =P

Anyway I was defeated by myself yesterday, and being tired is no excuse. The vanquished must pay the price, whatever it is. In other words, serves me right if I can't even prevail over myself.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Another comics blitz =)

Trying to study for tomorrow's Nation Building test. We changed lecturers for the second half of the module, and this new lecturer is a real pain. Her lectures are best described as a Connect-the-Dots puzzle with no numbered dots. She crams us with lots of material every lecture, but they're all over the place, and have barely any link at all, and I never know what to write down, or what to make of what she's saying. Tomorrow's test is based on her lectures, and even though I've S/Ued the samn thing, going in without studying is still going to be suicide. If I go blind trying to make some sense of her notes, let it be known that it's all her fault. =P

Monday, April 02, 2007

The advantage of being at the bottom, is that you get to see everyone's soles. Then you'll know who has been wading through mud, who has stepped in blood, etc.

In clearer language, being useless can be a good thing because your friends are all true friends, not friends who just want something out of you.

Ok, that's an over-generalisation. I got pretty disgusted with a "friend" just now, who started chatting with me at the bus stop, and then, while I was in mid-sentence, turned to someone who'd just arrived and started chatting happily with him. And ignored me totally after that. It's not the first time he's done that, either. I should have smacked him.. *growl*

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Don't get fooled today.. =)

But, is it possible to taste the fruit without biting into it?

Aargh, thinking too much again. Not in the mood to blog, really, even though quite a bit has happened in the past 27 hours. Maybe tomorrow..

My friends

Sheares Hall Acers


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