I have told myself you are not allowed to hurt me anymore. That's what hurts the most.
Monday, March 25, 2013
It's taken me ten years to realise that the policy of "宁可杀错不可放过" cause as much grief and regret as its opposite. After all, whatever will be, will be, and 一切都是最好的安排. Rather than try so hard, and try too hard, at everything, I should just take it easy and do what's natural and accept whatever comes. This is one sad reminder that it's possible to learn the wrong lessons, also known as learning the wrong things the hard way. And hopefully it's the right lesson this time round. Although it doesn't mean any less grief or regret, I think. It just means that I waste less energy and time.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
I wonder if this is my problem?
Friday, March 08, 2013
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Reposted from I Wrote This For You
Friday, March 01, 2013
I Wrote This For You is an excellent blog that I came across recently. The posts are generally short, accompanied by a simple photo. Yet the words speak directly to the heart, and provoke intense emotions and feelings of empathy. This post below really spoke to me today:
The sun rose like it does on any other day, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
I'd just made coffee and you'd come back from doing the groceries and I asked if you wanted some without turning my head to look at you, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
And I hit the floor so slowly and so hard and without any real warning, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
I knew we'd had our differences and our silences but I didn't expect it to end like this, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
I thought there'd be more time, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
If I was still alive at that point, I imagine I'd smell cordite and sulphur filling the room and hear the echoes bouncing off the walls, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
I imagine there was a look of surprise on my face, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
I wonder if you thought you were being merciful by waiting until I wasn't looking, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
I probably stared off at a distant point, while you gathered your things together and left, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
And I know that my body was there for a while and that the room was dark and that it was very quiet, because of what you'd done, on the day you shot me in the back of the head.
But what you might not know, is that I got up.
And washed my face.
And the sun rose again.
On the day after you shot me in the back of the head.
Sheares Hall Acers