Thursday, July 31, 2008 Wednesday, July 30, 2008 心中这片田地，几经播种，灌溉，始终不曾萌芽。虽然多次是因为自己的过失，自己的不才，才会铩羽而归。多番耕耘，已经累透了。数次的再接再厉后，不禁觉得心灰意冷了。即使从每次的失败吸取了教训，即使非常乐观地觉得下次定能做得更好，却已经觉得这都是一些无谓的耕耘。所以，决定任由这片田地荒芜，不再对它花任何心思。毕竟，心里的田地，不仅这一块。或许，会有好心人来为我开辟这片荒地 （做梦吧！）。又或许，荒地也能长出像黄水仙一样漂亮的花朵。又或许，等哪一天我找到了干劲，再来从新经营，为满地盛开着绚丽的花朵而努力。 Thursday, July 24, 2008 Some wounds never completely heal. Like this funny bump on my right kneecap. It all started when I skinned my kneecap while playing touch rugby (or was it hockey) some two years ago. It was a somewhat bad skin, not the kind that just looks like a lattice, but the kind where one whole patch was abraded. I went on with my sports despite the injury, though I took care not to dirty the wound. So it was quite inevitable that, one rainy night playing touch rugby, I skinned that kneecap again (or maybe fleshed it, since there wasn't much skin left on it). Somehow because of that it didn't heal properly, and I'm left with a small lump there that makes me feel funny whenever I kneel. After yet another heart-stopping incident on the way home today, I realise that my dad drives with the same aggression that I play games. I guess all guys need an outlet for excess testosterone or whatever it is. If I wasn't so preoccupied with the drama I should have taken out my handphone and taken photos. The other guy was quite clearly in the wrong and he should not have tried to force his way through. But I am really worried for my dad because any slight mistake on his part, or the other guy's part, and there would have been an accident, and with my dad's advancing age I think he shouldn't be pulling such stunts. Wednesday, July 16, 2008  Tuesday, July 15, 2008 Reading my granddaughter's blog made me realise how inept I've become at expressing myself in words. I re-read what I've blogged, especially the recent ones, and I feel they're woefully inadequate in expressing what I really feel. Maybe I should be writing like this instead: class BlogPost { public static void main (String[] args) { System.out.println("Welcome to my blog."); System.out.println("My name is Andy."); System.out.println("Hello World! =D"); } } Monday, July 14, 2008 Despite my complaints about staying at home for the next academic year, and the tremendous time it takes to travel to and from school, what nobody realises is that it was a conscious decision on my part to to stay at home. Not because I didn't have enough CCA points or because I am going to be a phantom anyway and waste a space or because of any of the million other reasons I come up with to explain it. SB wanted me to stay, and promised me a room of my choice. I could have gone in via at least 3 methods, for sure, despite having no CCA points at all. However the realisation I had, and that was driven home squarely on Friday, is that if I stay in school for the next academic year, I will be terribly terribly lonely. And to make things worse, there are some really nice people in hall who will go out of their way to make me feel less lonely, and I'll hate myself for needing help and inconveniencing people like that. I want Sheares Hall to forever be a place I remember with fondness, for all the fun and laughter I had there. If I leave now, that's what it will be. If I stubbornly linger, who knows what, then. It's hard for people to understand, I guess, just as it was hard for me to understand when the good friends I made there left one by one. But it can't be helped, if people think worse of me because of this. Wednesday, July 09, 2008 A good day is when I can meet 3 or more good friends on the same day. =D Good days are easy in summer because almost everyone's back in Singapore. I think I have my equilibrium back for now. Now to try to stay equibrilililated for as long as I can.    Tuesday, July 08, 2008 Finally found this: 佛手瓜 aka Chayote. The word I had in mind was actually zucchini, which turned out to be something else. Or maybe my parents got it wrong and it's actually zucchini. Or maybe they thought 佛手瓜 = zucchini. Whatever. Prof's been steadily piling on the pressure, telling me that I absolutely must try to have something working by the end of July. I understand his urgency, and am thankful that he hasn't snapped at me for being so unproductive yet (a few times he looked like he was contemplating whether to or not). However I can't help but resent the fact that my final summer holiday has to spent under the shadow of FYP. Friday, July 04, 2008 In no way does the above picture describe me now. But I think it's amusing. Just got back from Hanoi less than 2 hours ago. It was one heck of a trip. More on it another day. |
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