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Friday, June 27, 2008 I'll be away for the whole of next week. Trip to Pattaya and Hanoi from tomorrow till the 4th. What I'm really looking forward to, though, is Windz coming back. Then the core group will number 4 again! Three's a crowd but four's just nice. =) And I'm temporarily out of a job. My part-time work got suspended because of "budgetary issues". Most likely I'll head back to school on those days anyway, to work on my HYP. Productivity at home is horrible. Thursday, June 26, 2008 I've begun pondering the direction this blog should take. To begin with it was an outlet for me, a way for other people to understand me, things and thoughts that I'll never say in person to anybody. It then also became a way for close friends to keep in touch, during the times when we were in different countries, or simply too busy to meet up and chat. At this stage it has become an announcement board for me, where I say things and actually hope for people to read them. In the beginning the blog was very personal, where I said plainly what I went through and what I felt. But I've never wanted this to be a shallow blog that simply gives a blow-by-blow account of the day. So I tried to be more philosopical, talk more about the big picture of things. Now the blog has degenerated into a rant, it's all about my unhappiness and sadness, and I think that's even more worthless than if I'd just talked about my day. I hope to return this to its roots, when I just write as though no one reads this, when my words have no target audience, no hidden message, and no need to bury everything under layers of analogies and vague statements. I'm not sure how possible it is with this blog, maybe I'll have to start another one, and let the whole cycle begin anew. Maybe I should just stop blogging, and simply call-a(n-unfortunate)-friend when I need to rant. I'll make a decision regarding this soon, I think. Inaction is perhaps the greatest mistake of all. One of my weaknesses has always been indecision at crunch time. Despite my apparent self-confidence and assurance, when it comes to that 千钧一发 moment I always tend to miss the opportunity. I think too much, hesitate too much. And then, sometimes, ironically, I do something at random and it turns out to be the wrong thing to do. Once again, I feel that I have come to this instant, when everything hangs on the balance of my actions. But my original decision was to be silent and observe. And I have no idea what to do, even if something has to be done. Will I make a mistake again? Tuesday, June 24, 2008 There are some people who have the gift of the gab: they can turn lies into truth, make absurd things reasonable. Then there are the ones with a talent that is exactly opposite: they can turn truth into lies, and make reasonable statements and requests sound absurd and ridiculous. I have had the privilege of observing people who belong to the latter category, display their talents for the past twenty-odd years. It is amazing to see maestros at work, how they cunningly craft their words to make even the most reasonable requests become unpalatable and even offensive. How, with a deft twist of logic and pauses inserted just nice, they alienate and disgust mature, thinking and logical people. It would be amazing to observe, if I wasn't the target of said manipulation. Their latest display of talent was with regards to proper sleeping habits. My stand on this is that, yes, proper sleeping habits are good. And I agree that my brother's sleeping habits need some adjustment, he's been sleeping at 4am and waking up past noon for the past 2 weeks. As for my own, they are naturally "good". I've been having trouble sleeping since I moved back home, so I frequently get up early, like 7am. Because of that, I can't help but go to bed pretty early as well, around midnight. So in summary, I actually agree that our sleeping habits need some fine-tuning. However, the maestros managed to make me change my stand. First, they chose to broach this topic in the middle of dinner, which is not a very good time for heavy topics to be discussed. Therefore, my brother and I chose to concentrate on eating our food. Whether encouraged by lack of opposition or challenged by the lack of agreement, the maestros then proceeded to expand on their argument. "People say you're both very thin, that's because you don't sleep enough." My brother, riled up, retorted, "It's because we haven't been eating a lot." There's been a snack drought in the house, and it's hard to grow fat when we're eating so "healthily". Without giving us the chance to elaborate our first sentence, the maestros replied, "It's precisely because you sleep late and wake up late, and miss breakfast, that's why." That's bullshit on 2 counts. For my brother, he frequently cooks noodles if he stays up late, so he's still getting 3 meals a day. For me, I just don't have breakfast sometimes, even if I wake up early. Even if I do, it's only a few pieces of bread which barely sustains me till lunch. Their argument logic can be expressed thus: To prove A is wrong, just blame everything on A. In the face of such logic, even a potential ally such as I have no choice but to stand up against it. Having talented people in the house can be such a trial sometimes. Monday, June 23, 2008 I just had to write something here. Even though there's nothing I have to write that is for public consumption. It is not even for my own consumption, because it consists purely of illogical, irrational tirade. Well, maybe this time, I will wisen up and stop being such a sucker. 二週間、違う、一個月の夢。もう起きるの時間です。 Wednesday, June 18, 2008 This, I think, is quite meaningful.  Tuesday, June 17, 2008 It is now 2 weeks out of 6, or one third. I don't know what I'm keeping count for, what I expect to happen when these 6 weeks are up. I don't know what significance the end of these 6 weeks will hold. I also don't understand why time is passing by so slowly for me these days, like it's been eternity since I started this countdown. I ought to take heed from the story of Icarus, and beware "befalling" the same fate (pun intended). Saturday, June 07, 2008 Watching the French Open, I've become a fan of Gaël Monfils and his athleticism. His semi-final match against Roger Federer was really great to watch, both players were able to play to their strengths, and the partisan crowd made for some great atmosphere. It seemed like the two players enjoyed the match as much as the crowd did, too. On the ladies' matches, I think Ana Ivanovic is really pretty. =P And I really admire Dinara Safina's grit and ability to come back from opponents' match points to take the match eventually. Looking forward to the finals! Thursday, June 05, 2008   Monday, June 02, 2008  Lotsa nice comics today..  Maybe I should hold back until I can fill that middle space with someone. For sure, it'll spare me a lot of heartache.  Anyone else remembers Zork? |
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