The Human Instrumentality Project

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

How You Life Your Life

You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them.

Your Observation Skills Get A C+

You tend to notice the big things in life...
But the details aren't exactly your forte

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is an incubator for good ideas, it just takes a while for them to develop.
But when you think of something, watch out!
Your thoughts tend to be huge, and they come on quickly - like an explosion.
You tend to be quiet around others, unless you're inspired by your next big idea.

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.
You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.
Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.
Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).

Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.
And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.
You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.
Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.

Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

Friday, January 13, 2006

My results are the same as you, Windz!

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest:

You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future.

At Your Lowest:

You feel in a slump and lack creativity.

In Love:

You tend to be many people's ideal partner.

How You're Attractive:

You make people feel confident and accepted.

Your Eternal Question:

"What Impression Am I Giving?"

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Redid a test that I last did one and a half years ago. The results have changed:

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Intellect ||||||||||||||| 46%
Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Liveliness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Social Assertiveness |||||||||||| 34%
Sensitivity ||||||||||||||| 50%
Paranoia ||||||||| 26%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Introversion |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Anxiety ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Independence |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Tension |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by

For the past few days I've been reading my past entries, both on this blog and in the written diary. Here are some conclusions I've made:

Compared to 2 years ago, I am..
Less likely to do stupid things
Less eloquent
Less perceptive
More mature
More ignorant
More in control of myself
More handsome? :P

Somehow, as I grow older, I've lost the ability to express myself in words. I'm becoming a caveman, reduced to using grunts. I've also lost the ability to perceive and infer the deeper picture, and the inner workings. Does anyone else think so?

Monday, January 09, 2006

THE BIRTH OF LOVE - William Wordsworth, 1795

Translated from some French stanzas by Francis Wrangham, and
printed in "Poems by Francis Wrangham, M.A."

WHEN Love was born of heavenly line,
What dire intrigues disturbed Cythera's joy!
Till Venus cried, "A mother's heart is mine;
None but myself shall nurse my boy,"

But, infant as he was, the child
In that divine embrace enchanted lay;
And, by the beauty of the vase beguiled,
Forgot the beverage--and pined away.

"And must my offspring languish in my sight?"
(Alive to all a mother's pain,
The Queen of Beauty thus her court addressed)
"No: Let the most discreet of all my train
Receive him to her breast:
Think all, he is the God of young delight."

Then TENDERNESS with CANDOUR joined,
And GAIETY the charming office sought;
Nor even DELICACY stayed behind:
But none of those fair Graces brought

Wherewith to nurse the child--and still he pined.
Some fond hearts to COMPLIANCE seemed inclined;
But she had surely spoiled the boy:
And sad experience forbade a thought
On the wild Goddess of VOLUPTUOUS JOY.

Long undecided lay th' important choice,
Till of the beauteous court, at length, a voice
Pronounced the name of HOPE:--The conscious child
Stretched forth his little arms, and smiled.

'Tis said ENJOYMENT (who averred
The charge belonged to her alone)
Jealous that HOPE had been preferred
Laid snares to make the babe her own.

Of INNOCENCE the garb she took,
The blushing mien and downcast look;
And came her services to proffer:
And HOPE (what has not Hope believed!)
By that seducing air deceived,
Accepted of the offer.

It happened that, to sleep inclined,
Deluded HOPE: for one short hour
To that false INNOCENCE'S power
Her little charge consigned.

The Goddess then her lap with sweetmeats filled
And gave, in handfuls gave, the treacherous store:
A wild delirium first the infant thrilled;
But soon upon her breast he sunk--to wake no more.

It's like sliding across ice, towards the end of a cliff, where you want to stop but can't. It's like riding the crest of a tsunami, knowing that, at the end, you'll be tossed unceremoniously onto the shore. It's like watching a horror film, telling the movie star not to open the door but he does so anyway. It's like piloting a doomed ship, watching the enemy flagship loom larger and larger as the klaxons blare and the warnings flash. It's like me, now, careeming towards disaster in slow-motion, onto the altar to be offered up to an evil deity. It's time to look for a way out, maybe?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

So it ends. And I'm disappointed, so disappointed and frustrated. It's ok that we didn't win a single match and didn't score a single goal, if we had deserved it. Problem is, we don't. Four months of hard training, good attendance every training, blood and sweat spilled and we played our hearts out. We simply did not deserve the result we got today, when it should be the fat men in green, the dirty men in red, or even the men in blue who deserve the indignity of being last. It is all the more upsetting because we have a great captain, a wonderful vice-captain, and a core of experienced players.

Today was a bad bad day for me. I played badly and I'm ashamed to admit that. Maybe the heat got to me, maybe the pressure got to me, but ultimately I felt that I let the team down, the team and the captain. They have such high expectations of me, they expect me to contribute and attack and score and I did none of those. Though I was never blamed I feel guilty nevertheless. Maybe if I'd stuck to my fitness regime, ran regularly, practised sprints. Maybe if I'd skipped the chalet yesterday, or just slept during the night instead. But these are only maybes. The only redress is next season.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The more bridge I play, the more I want to play! Just came back from the FOCC chalet, spent most of the time playing bridge with Yanjun and Liyong and whoever was game. Didn't sleep the whole night, and now I'm starting to feel the fatigue! Pity it rained in the afternoon, and I didn't get to blade. I'm so rusty at it! Must dig up some time to go to East Coast Park.

IHG Hockey is tomorrow! The nerves haven't quite set in yet, but already I'm preparing myself for tomorrow's matches. We have a good team this year and I really hope Lady Luck smiles on us and allows us to fulfill our potential. We saw a rainbow during our last training yesterday and I think it is a good omen promising us success!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Quick post before I begin the whirlwind of today. Here's a sample of today's schedule:

9am - 12pm SP Rehearsals
3pm - 5pm Touch Rugby Training
5pm - 7pm Hockey Training
8pm - 10pm SP Main Committee Meeting
10pm - 12am Rush down to Aloha Loyang
12am - ??? Bridge, Night cycling, MAYBE sleep?

It's the last week of holidays and I feel more tired than when it started! How to start school like that?

Been sort of carried away by events recently. Gonna drop anchor and decide which direction I'm really going.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Hello 2006. In a flash, another year has passed. 2005 passed by faster than any other year, I feel, even though so much happened in that short space of time.

I started the year in green, eagerly counting down to the moment I'll get my pink IC. It was bitter for a while, having to come back to camp after one month of "honeymoon" at the forward base, learning that we wouldn't get to clear all our off, and going through insane preparation for IPPT, even though we wouldn't have to take it this year. I miss the platoon, all right, and the camaraderie we shared, but I was still happy to see the last of the dirty squat buildings, at least for the next 4 years.

The limbo months before the start of university were generally fruitful ones. I devoted much of the time (and a whole lot of money) to enriching myself, learning new things, making new friends and becoming a better person. And I'm glad that it has paid off, I feel I have grown so much more since I ORDed.

The preparations for university life began with the DSTA scholars' orientation, and I must say I've never known a better bunch of people. We've shared some wonderful memories and I hope the friendships will last till we all grow old and die.

The SoC FOC was fun as well, even if we don't meet or talk to each other very often, yet I remember you guys and I hope you're all well!

The Gen Acts camp was great fun, and I think our OG was excellent. 咸鱼 咸鱼 咸鱼,翻身 翻身 翻身! Let's meet up for tea someday!

And as for my hall, Sheares Hall, thank you for making me feel so at home, so much part of a big family! And thanks Ben for hosting us just now.

And as for all the studying and slogging, all the mention it deserves is in this sentence.

My major regret is not spending enough time with my friends. As of now there are still so many people I want to meet yet have not met! And I regret not getting to know everyone better. I don't open up easily and most times I must seem quite aloof but I'd really like to get to know everyone better.

Being away from the family has made me treasure them more. And now that I am older I can really feel the love the family shares, how everyone is concerned for each other and makes sacrifices for each other. I've never missed home so much! Yet I do enjoy the freedom of living in hall.

Thanks again to all the good and great friends who must have secretly conspired to make sure I rarely ever feel lonely! Kelvin (we still owe each other a meeting); Tris; Liyong and Yanjun (we've had so much fun together); my dear granddaughter Wanxuan; Yvonne; Aik (the best neighbour anyone can get); Jeriel and Alfred and Xianglong and Hui Wei (Nano was fun enough, but with you guys it's even more fun); Yanxin (future Superstar!); my bro Randy (who sometimes gives way to me when it should be the other way round); Eugene and Selwyn and Kooi Fei (who keep me company during those boring boring lectures) and, last but not least, ying.

Happy 2006 everyone! May it be your happiest year yet!

My friends

Sheares Hall Acers


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