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Saturday, July 31, 2004 Fireworks look so beautiful up close. I'll bring my camera for the actual day, even though my ground floor vantage offers only a limited view. I remember a time when we've just moved into our current address. Although our flat was low on the 6th floor, we had a miraculously unblocked view of the sky above the National Stadium, and enjoyed a couple of National Days watching the fireworks burst into brilliance from our window. Then fireworks were simple affairs, one missile erupting into a single-coloured flower. So unlike the fanciful affairs today, but marvelous nonetheless. I also remember National Day 2 years ago, when PF, Ed and I tried to catch the fireworks from a nearby location. Our enjoyment was spoilt by an MRT station, but we enjoyed ourselves that evening anyway. Now the fireworks are over, the crowds leaving, but a diehard bunch parties on inside the stadium. Even though this is only a 'preview', there is no excuse not to let our hair down and celebrate. There is no need to wait until the official date, and the same goes for birthdays, anniversaries, festivals. In fact life would be sad if we only celebrated during festivals and acknowledged our loved ones during birthdays and anniversaries. I wish I was in a MUD, and had a floating disc on which to store all my equipment. Or that I was Doraemon, with a pocket of limitless space. The ones who determine the doctrines are not the ones carrying the stores, so they'll never understand the agony of the people who have to carry packs of equipment weighing more than 30kg. It would be nice as well, if everyone had an internal camera, implanted into the eyes. All it took to capture a snapshot of what the eye sees would be a single, simple thought. Everyday I see photo moments, video moments -- they occur at the most unexpected times. Then again, if everything culd be recorded and saved, people might begin to take it for granted. Personally, I have many VCDs of cartoons, anime, drama serials, that either cost me a lot of money to buy or a lot of time to download. :P However, whenever I have free time, it never occurs to me to take them out and watch them. After all, since I have them in storage, I can watch them anytime I like. Which happens to be not now, not ever. Same goes for photo albums. My family's photo albums lie yellow and musty in a cabinet, untouched for months or even years. Photographs are taken, sent for development, returned and stuffed into albums, and then sentenced to life imprisonment, with a chance to see the sunlight every few years. Just learnt a new acronym. WFFI = Wait For Further Instructions. The army is home to hundereds, maybe thousands of scronyms, most official and many of the remainder either vulgar, humourous or both. EOD = Explosive Ordnance Disposal (official); Everyday On Duty (unofficial). SISPEC = School of Infantry SPECialists; Suffer In Silence Plus Extra duties and Confinement. Can't think of anymore now.. Tuesday, July 27, 2004 boom. controlled explosion. what an oxymoron. an illusion to fool (a) me into thinking I've vented whatever I've bottled (b) others into thinking I've not. nobody was fooled. utter foolishness. I'm left worse off than I was before. what cause, the regret? what price, the lesson? what salve, the pain? questions better answered, yet better left unanswered. what purpose, the torment? what price, forgiveness? second chance, priceless. frustration. i'm not good with words. a boiling pot with it's lid locked on. a volcano whose vents are blocked. tomorrow, if i've got the time, i'm gonna let my feet do the talking. running is a great stress reliever. urgh, so busy. Sorry for the long lull.. Been feeling lazy lately.. Anyway just a quick one before I book in again.. Thailand trip was tiring, but fun. How can spending time with 3 of my best friends be anything but? We rushed everywhere, did a lot of shopping, got ripped off occasionally, and ended up having to pool our money to pay Bangkok's airport tax. Photos might or might not come up, keep your fingers crossed. Really really busy these 2 weeks. National Day Parade (NDP). Lots of stores to prepare, meetings to attend, rehearsals to go through. The amount of preparation required is mind-boggling. It doesn't help that the schedule is very tight. Song in my head: Carpenters - Yesterday Once More When I was young I'd listen to the radio Waiting for my favorite songs When they played I'd sing along It made me smile Those were such happy times And not so long ago How I wondered where they've gone But they're back again Just like a long lost friend All the songs I loved so well (*) Every Sha-la-la-la Every Wo-wo-wo Still shines Every shing-a-ling-a-ling That they're starting to sing's So fine When they get to the part Where he's breakin' her heart It can really make me cry Just like before It's yesterday once more Lookin' back on how it was In years gone by And the good times that I had Makes today seem rather sad So much has changed It was songs of love that I would sing to then And I'd memorize each word Those old melodies Still sound so good to me As they melt the years away Repeat (*) All my best memories Come back clearly to me Some can even make me cry Just like before It's yesterday once more Repeat (*) Friday, July 16, 2004 I was sitting outside the MRT station when 2 young girls, aged around 14 and 9, came up to me to ask for donations for the NKF. Having just been coerced by the Army to cough up $12 for their noble cause, and having nothing but $10 notes in my wallet, I politely declined them. The two girls proceeded to run up and down the station, asking everyone they met for donations. The older girl was having a hard time looking after her younger sibling and asking for donations at the same time, for the younger girl was all over the place, chasing down passers-by. Touched by their courage and enthusiasm, I dug 2 $1 coins out of my wallet, intending to donate when they next ran past me. Instead, they rounded a corner and disappeared. I waited for about 5 minutes, then kept my discman and walked to the other side of the station, intending to hunt them down and make my donation. I'd hoped to encourage them to continue their effort, as what they were doing was wonderful and rare for the thin-skinned, selfish Singaporeans that most of us sadly are. I never saw them again. Instead, I bumped into the friends that I'd been waiting for. I hope they found other kind souls who were willing to donate. I still regard my Sec. 3 and 4 years as the best years of my life so far. Those are the only 2 years when I've met most of my goals, when my performance was almost up to my own exacting standards. My Sec. 3/Sec. 4 class is still the best class I was in. I did not find bosom buddies as I did in JC, but my Sec. 3/Sec. 4 class is bonded as strongly today as it was 4 years ago, the people different yet strangely unchanged. O still gets bullied by everyone, KC's as humorous as ever, JW's as quiet, WL as blur -- it feels like yesterday once more. JW's selling unwanted electronics. My conscience and my wallet compromised at $150 for a GBA-SP with 4 game cartridges. I told JW that I'll meet any higher bid he receives. I wish someone would make a higher bid, because my conscience ain't happy -- it merely reached a compromise with my wallet. I think I'll up my bid to $200 automatically. Even though he doesn't say it, I know he finds my bid below his expectations, and way below what the machine is worth. After all, my wallet has little reason for complaint -- although it is a frivolous purchase, it is also a good bargain. Ooh, can't wait to get it from him. Saturday, July 10, 2004 I acquired a fever yesterday morning, but didn't want to report sick. I was on standby duty yesterday as well, and reporting sick meant lokking for a replacement. With all the strain my platoon was sill going through, of too much work and too few people, had I reported sick my platoon will join me in the sick bay soon after. So I held on... And got the scare of my life when I was activated to respond to a bomb threat. I was doubly worried because it was my first activation and I was ill. Thankfully it was a false alarm, and the flowing adrenalin over-powered the mild fever. Life good when there's a sense of fulfillment, even during the busiest of times. Right now I'm busy and I'm sick, but I feel good because I'm doing worthwhile work, playing my part in making Singapore safe and secure. Tuesday, July 06, 2004 After reading friends' blogs, I seriously wonder what's wrong with me. Everyone is so HAPPENING. By contrast my life never breaks out of the routine. Then again, on introspection, there are many things out of the ordinary in my life as well. Like the blackout that was on everybody's lips last week -- I was caught in that as well, and my greatest lament was forgetting to chronicle the once-in-a-lifetime event using my digital camera. Or the pair of promoters who yesterday kindly gave me tips on how to treat my acne after I declined to buy the product they were promoting. Or the article G showed me yesterday on racial/country stereotypes in Singapore. Or the hyper-enthusiastic new puppy the unit bought, who was dragging his sumo-sized handler all over the unit today. Every day many note-worthy events occur in everyone's life, but many people, in their haste to get through life or in their indifference, fail to capture these events in their mind. However these are all memories that will bring a smile to people's faces, that can potentially tide one over hard times. Pity that some people, including myself at times, choose to pass time in a bullet train, and miss out on all that's good around them. Keep a diary, write in it often, note down the pleasant things you see each day around you, the funny, the heart-warming, the cute and the interesting. And whenever you feel down, take out that diary and read it from beginning to end. You're guaranteed to be smiling before you put it down. Heard from a friend from far away today. Happy. It doesn't take much to make me happy. But it doesn't take much to make me sad either. Well whatever. Nothing much to write about these few days. Leading a placid life, taking advantage of a lull in work that is soon to end. I look forward to my overseas trip, it's what keeps me going now. Though I'm probably gonna come back more tired than when I left, since we're determined to spend literally every single minute of our time there walking around and shopping. But it's still a welcome break from all the stress here. Seriously nothing to write about... I live a passive life, working when there's work, resting when there's time to rest. At the end of the day I'm so tired I don't want to think, and therefore I don't. Not beyond the mundane like what to eat for lunch, and what time to sleep tonight. Life's somehow easier to get through this way. So here ends my short update entry... almost. ============================================ Blue - Breathe Easy ============================================ Cruel to the eye I see the way he makes you smile Cruel to the eye Watching him hold what used to be mine Why did I lie? What did I walk away to find Oooohhh...why...oooh -- why... CHORUS I.... can't breathe easy Can't sleep at night Till you're by my side No I.... can't breathe easy I can't dream yet another dream Without you lying next to me There's no air.... Curse me inside For every word that caused you to cry Curse me inside I won't forget, no i won't baby i don't know why (don't know why) I left the one i was looking to find Ooh -- why...ooooh, why -- why... CHORUS I.... can't breathe easy Can't sleep at night Till you're by my side No I.... can't breathe easy (breathe easy) I can't dream yet another dream Without you lying next to me There's no air.... no I.... can't breathe easy (can't breathe easy) I can't dream yet another dream Without you lying next to me There's no air.... Out of my mind Nothing makes sense anymore I want you back in my life That's all I'm breathing for Ooooooohhhhh -- tell me why Oh won't you tell me why I can't dream yet another dream Without you lying next to me There's no air I... can't breathe easy Can't sleep at night Till you're by my side now i can't breathe easy I can't dream yet another dream Without you lying next to me There's no air There's no air. |
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