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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 I know, I tend to make mountains out of molehills. But plain terrain is just, so, plain. Mountains are, however, very troublesome and irritating things to traverse. So I'm gonna just leave the molehills as they are from now on. And maybe stomp on a few that grow out of hand. Monday, May 30, 2005 Dun want to be Nobita anymore... I don't want to be like him, clumsy, silly and very unlucky! Because I've got no Doraemon to depend on, I only have myself. So I cannot be satisfied with Nobita, haha. Heh all that fuss over a mascot.. Finally went to make contacts today. Deliberated over 2 shops, but finally went for the more expensive (and hopefully better) one. Had fun yesterday with 4M, haha, been so long since we went out together. Still the same old pattern, even though we're now 5 years older. Saddest thing is, in 3 months' time we're gonna be split apart again, as the smarter ones go overseas for their university education. But it's strange how I don't ask anybody out when they're around, but once they go away I begin to miss them. Well I'm off to write testimonials on Friendster. Saturday, May 28, 2005 心有独钟 - 陈晓东 这种感觉从来不曾有 左右每天思绪 每一次呼吸 心被占据 却苦无医 是你让我着了迷 给了甜蜜又保持距离 而你潇洒来去 玩爱情游戏 我一天天失去勇气 偏偏难了难忘记 单单为你心有独钟 因为爱过才知情多浓 浓得发痛在心中 痛全是感动 我是真的真的与众不同 真正为你心有独钟 因为有你世界变不同 笑我太傻太懵懂 或爱得在太重 只能相信我自己 能永远对你心独钟 My brain is working all the time, even when I sleep. Rarely does a night go by without dreams, and not all of them are pleasant. I wish I could just switch my cerebrum off, even if for a while, because I'm so, so tired. On the bright side, I'm going blading tomorrow! Haven't bladed for almost a month.. It's so fascinating as I watch myself improve with every session. Soon maybe I can use my blades the way EP uses his bicycle, as a island-wide mode of transport! I miss ying terribly. So terrible the urge to call, to hear her voice. So hard to hold back, to exercise some self-control and not go stark raving mad. Even visualising keeping all the love into that ornate little chest in a corner of my heart, and locking it with a big lock, ain't helping now. But I so so so want this to go right, I want this to be the one. Still it hurts so bad that I just want to give up, to cry it all out once and for all then forget she ever existed. But every time I think back to those 9 days, I tell myself "No, I mustn't give up yet". Not till I'm sure. Because the reward is too large not to gamble. Just read this amazing book on water and how it forms different crystals when different words are spoken to it or placed on it. Really amazing! The book's called "The Hidden Messages in Water" by Masaru Emoto. And he's coming to Singapore at the end of July to give a talk on his findings! I'm definitely going for it. What is most impactful about his book is how the human body is affected as well. Being almost 70% water, our bodies will also react to the words we hear and the emotions we feel! Therefore there is scientific basis in the common wisdom that physical and mental well-being are linked! The happier and more positive a person is, the healthier he'll be as well. Therefore I'm trying to weed out all the depressing stuff, starting with my music playlist. I find that almost all of my songs are sad ones! It's amazing that I'm still alive then, and not crushed to death underneath all the bad vibes! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Met a friend on thursday who was very knowledgeable about palmistry. He took a look at my palms and made some comments. That I will be rich in future, that I will have no major health problems, that I am very clear-headed yet easily distracted by my surroundings, and that I will have only 1 girlfriend/wife in my entire life, and not anytime soon, either! Well, I'm not sure whether to be thrilled by that last fact morsel, the knowledge that I will only have 1 girlfriend is nice, it means I'll not break anybody's heart (though people will still break mine without knowing it or meaning to, haha). And since it's not gonna be anytime soon.. Well that doesn't discount anybody I currently know, right? Maybe it just means I'll have to spend a longer time chasing her? Maybe... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Also had a lively debate with another friend regarding 个性, and 思想. I'm of the opinion that 个性 is inborn and does not change ever, but that our 行动 will change as our 思想 changes (courtesy of another debate with my mother). Therefore someone who is an introvert by nature can exhibit extrovert characteristics that make him appear extroverted by nature. But my friend insists that 思想 can directly change a person's 个性. What do you think? I left the chinese terms as they are since my translation might be misinterpreted. Friday, May 27, 2005 Actually I don't feel like blogging today.. I'm tired and all I want is lots of peace and quiet. But life wouldn't let me. Had driving lesson in the morning. I don't know why, but I was feeling rash, and I made some major mistakes. My instructor had his hand on the handbrake 4 times! That's my current high record, and that's very very bad. Great start to today, huh.. maybe because ying can't go out with me today, that's why I'm feeling down. Wonder how she's feeling? Probably going out to make contact lenses later. My current pair does not correct my astigmatism, so wearing it gets tiring after a while. Wore it for 12 hours yesterday and was very very tired at night. There's a Creative Sale going on this weekend! I heard the 20GB Zen is going for only $299! But it's at Jurong... I think I'll give it a miss and save myself some money. After all I'm doing just fine without it right now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some communication breakdown yesterday resulted in me wandering around Orchard alone in the afternoon. The Cineleisure arcade is a shade of it's former self, relegated to a tiny space stocking yester-year's machines. How the place has changed! And not really for the better. Then again, I've always been change-resistant, so maybe it's just me. Then went to Kinokuniya, waltzed through the entire store. Luckily no book caught my eye, else I'll be so tempted to spend! Then went to G2000, where my cousin's working, and picked out a small wardrobe, for any future occasions that may require more formal wear than a polo-tee and cargo pants. Then, I had a nice dinner with the friend who could not make it in the afternoon. We had sandwiches for dinner, which might seem odd but was just right, just nicely filling up the stomach. But why am I boring everyone with such mundane stuff? I'll find something more interesting to say next time. Tuesday, May 24, 2005 最想环游的世界 Finally finished downloading the entire Futurama series, took me almost a month to do so! Haha I'll be busy over the next weeks watching it! Had no choice but to download since each season (there are 5 total) is selling for more than $100 here! There is no phrase more apt to describe that other than Daylight Robbery! It was my grandpa's death anniversary yesterday, went to my third aunt's house after paying respects to my grandparents at the temple. I used to go to my third aunt's house every week when I was younger, along with my sixth aunt and her family. Therefore us cousins played with each other every weekendand got very close to each other. Then work commitments caused the frequency to decline to once a fortnight, once a month, till it's now once in a blue moon. But that's quite alright because us cousins, now almost 20 or just past 20, no longer feel like playing the way we used to. What I do miss is my third aunt's cooking, especially her bak kut teh, which she very kindly did make for dinner yesterday! Also, now there are nephews to contend with as well, lively boys who become a pain in the neck after a while, but I love them anyway, haha. Skill at wearing contacts not improving much.. My left eye is ok, but I still tend to blink whenever my fingers near my right eye. But I'm determined to see it through, someday I'll also wear and take off my contacts without looking at the mirror! A lot of people are celebrating birthdays this week! *sweats* Most will have to make do with a simple sms from me. No money for presents for everyone, though I'll love to . Shopping for presents can actually be quite fun, especially with company. ying's been messaging me recently. Happy happy joy joy! The urge to reply back, to be really ncie to her is so strong. But I've gotta hold back, gotta use The System, and surprisingly it's easy to hold back. Maybe because that's always been my habit, to keep quiet when I have nothing to say. Just that with her I feel the urge to say something, anything, to keep the conversation going. Well I'm gonna ask her out on Friday, gonna recce PS on Wednesday. I've already squandered many chances, so I might well be down to my last one. The date HAS to be PERFECT.. Sunday, May 22, 2005 I'm getting better at wearing and taking off my contacts! Plans are to make a pair that accounts for my astigmatism next week. Meanwhile I can't read with my current set, and after an hour on the computer my eyes are tired. But it feels good to be without glasses. Tidying my books, and formed a pile of unread books that's reached my kneecaps already! Really gotta stop buying any more, today I dropped by Popular and bought yet another, because I thought my brother will like it. And he did, so it's not really money wasted. Haha. Went out with my NS understudy, and it seems like conditions in my platoon have gotten worse since I left. "Everytime it seems that platoon morale can't get lower, it does!" Am I thankful I'm no longer inside! But my platoon is like an old but hardy locomotive, we whine and creak but we don't give up. Anyway, it's good to hear that everyone's still his good old self, just busier. ying's finally back! nice of her to message me so late at night just to say she's back. Man, did I miss her! Saturday, May 21, 2005 Tried to tidy my books today. Didn't realise I had so many books! Worse still, that so many are still unread! I'd better stop buying any more for the time being. Some of the old books bring back fond memories, like the mini horror stories I received for perfect spelling scores back in Primary 1. I remember reading them curled up in my parents' bed. I didn't dare get off the bed after that, scared that the boogeymen under the bed will snatch me and do horrible things to me. Then went to try out contact lenses this afternoon. Ready-made ones do not help my astigmatism, and as a result I'm a little clumsier than usual. At least I can wear them and take them off pretty quickly, in about 10 minutes. Not bad for a beginner! I'd allocated half an hour... Haha! And I'm gonna send off all my scholarship admin forms first thing tomorrow morning. That's one big load off my mind! My long weekend is pretty much packed, tomorrow meeting my poor NS understudy, who's still suffering inside, then watching the FA Cup final at Bugis. Sunday is Big Walk then an outing with a bunch of friends, Monday is going to the temples and the death anniversary of my maternal granddad, which makes it a family day of sorts. I sent my resume to a job agency on Wednesday, and there's been no reply yet. But I'm busy enough without a job to weigh me down further. Whew! Thursday, May 19, 2005 Well turns out ying is staying in malaysia for a while longer than planned.. she's coming back on sunday. That's a relief to hear. Don't like it when good friends go overseas, makes me feel hollow inside, that they'll no longer be just a simple phone call and bus ride away.. Enjoying life at home right now! Haha no more work, no more waking up early in the morning! Downside is, no more money. And no more seeing ying every day. Tidying my stuff up bit by bit right now. I've collected piles of books, letters, free gifts (!) during the past 3 years, and they've been heaped about the place for those 3 years, hehe. So I'm trying to tidy the place up right now. Urgh. Meanwhile, I'm worried about ying. It's been days since she's supposed to be back from Malaysia. But I can't reach her. Hope she's all right. Nah, I'm sure she is. I had a very uneasy feeling on the day she left, hope that doesn't mean anything. I don't know if I should get another job, it's a good 2 months more till matriculation. Why don't I just laze around till then? If I lock myself in the house everyday I can eliminate any spending problems, especially if I also throw away my debit card (so I can't shop online). Haha! Am looking to supplement my wardrobe with a few short-sleeved buttoned shirts. But shopping's no fun alone... *hint hint* Going crazy on the net. Downloaded complete discographies of 无印良品 and 梁静茹. Happy! Hehe I'm quite the romantic-songs freak. Maybe I'll get 周惠 next.. Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005 First day of not working. Didn't feel like waking up this morning. The weather is wonderful, cool and with a slight drizzle outside. Furthermore it feels like there's nothing more to look forward to for today. But life, no matter how bleak, must go on. Had a really weird dream last night, lots of murder, and me in the midst of all the confusion. Being a clairvoyant is scary, when you know something has happened/is going to happen, but around you everyone is still ignorant of the impending disaster, still happily going about their lives. You want to scream at everyone, warn them of the danger, but that'll serve no purpose. So you become a horrified audience, watching the events unfold without power to do anything about it. Hmm, I think I've been reading too much Dean Koontz. I feel drained, like a zombie. How many days before I recover this time? Maybe I'll feel better once ying comes back from Malaysia. Not that I'll know when, because I don't think she'll tell me. Wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. Think that's highly unlikely. And that just makes me feel worse. Sunday, May 15, 2005 童话 纯真 作词:阿信作曲:阿信 长长的路上我想我们是朋友 如果有期待我想最好是不说 你总是微笑的你总是不开口 世界被你掌握 月亮绕地球地球绕着太阳走 我以为世界是座宁静的宇宙 今晚的天空有一颗流星划过 在预言着什麽 在无声之中你拉起了我的手 我怎麽感觉整个黑夜在震动 耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏 星星在闪烁 你怎麽说 你心中一定有座浓雾的湖泊 任凭月光再皎洁照也照不透 你眼中闪烁湖面无边的温柔 那波光在诱惑 在无声之中你拉起了我的手 我怎麽感觉整个黑夜在震动 耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏 星星在闪烁 你会怎麽说 在无声之中你拉起了我的手 我怎麽感觉整个黑夜在震动 耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏 星星在闪烁 你会怎麽说 你已经有他就不应该再有我 世界的纯真此刻为你有迷惑 我想我应该轻轻放开你的手 我却没有力气这麽做 Saturday, May 14, 2005 星语心愿 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- tired today, but happy because I met old friends and made some new ones! Went for a SoC orientation talk, met The Fernfreak and some of his friends. Then went for S's birthday dinner party, met Junyun and got to know Fredrick. Gonna try contacts tomorrow instead. Maybe.. haha. Blading in the morning and afternoon, then still got my overdue DSTA forms to fill, my homework to do... gonna be a tiring day tomorrow. And it's supposed to be a Sunday! Feel like throttling down, but I can't lose my momentum to move, to change, to grow, to tidy up the clutter on my desk, in my mind. So it's onward I go! 周传雄--男人海洋 练习 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm now officially unemployed. My stint as a paper sorter finally ended today as we settled the final piles of wood pulp. It's been an amazing 2.5 weeks, and an even more amazing 9 days when ying was around. I will miss seeing her every morning, miss the banter and the fun that we've had.. Wednesday, May 11, 2005 Well I seem to be blogging a lot more these days! Lots of excess energy to burn, haha. And lots of spare processor time to waste on frivolities, heehee. I learnt the hard way, for the umpteenth time, the meaning of the words 长考出臭棋. Luckily this time I think I can salvage the mess I made. Thanks PF for those words - they've remained with me till now, and will doubtlessly benefit me infinitely forever. Owe you a big treat fot this! I've been told that I'm an analytical person, and I prefer not to take action until I've analysed something enough. If forced to make a premature decision, as I was quite a few times recently, I tend to fluff things up badly. Sometimes very badly. It is all thanks to the patience of the people around me that I have chances to make amends. Of course, I can't depend on the charity and magnanimity forever, so I really gotta buck up and fast. Well that was to explain the "spare processor time". Anyone wants to time-share my brain? I'll quote reasonable rates, but let me remind you you're gonna be getting some top-quality stuff, haha. Anyway image revamp v2 is set to kick off this Saturday when I go try out contact lenses. Excited, and more than a little nervous about it! Work is coming to an end, we're down to the last few stacks and my friend's mom hopes to clear us out of her office by Saturday. That's sad for very many reason, like the loss of income for example. On the silver lining, I get to sleep late again, enjoy afternoons at home, and I've already gained a lot from these 2 weeks plus. I suddenly miss Windz, PF, the small kao, and trisoman. I miss the times I sat outside KAP Mac with Windz, PF, and occasionally YH and Duane and chatted until everyone had to rush for the last bus. Maybe when Windz comes back we can do it again, haha. Tuesday, May 10, 2005 龙卷风 歌手:周杰伦 专辑:jay 词:徐若瑄 曲:周杰伦 爱像一阵风 吹完它就走 这样的节奏 谁都无可奈何 没有你以后 我灵魂失控 黑云在降落 我被它拖着走 静静悄悄默默离开 陷入了危险边缘baby~ 我的世界已狂风暴雨 wu~爱情来的太快就像龙卷风 离不开暴风圈来不及逃 我不能再想 我不能再想 我不我不我不能 爱情走的太快就像龙卷风 不能承受我已无处可躲 我不要再想 我不要再想 我不我不我不要再想你 不知不觉 你已经离开我 不知不觉 我跟了这节奏 后知后觉 又过了一个秋 后知后觉 我该好好生活 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Been caught in a whirlwind recently, and it has tore away at my self-confidence like tiles on the roof, smashed through the house leaving broken furniture everywhere, and rocked me right down to the foundations. Made me realise what a flimsy house of cards I am. That reminds me of a small core of die-hard friends who have been very patient with me, who have tolerated my mood swings, my insensitivity, my rashness, my verbal abuse, and the countless other things that make me a pest. I don't know what makes me worth the trouble, but thanks. It doesn't matter if you don't know who you are; what matters is that I know who you are. Haha. Um but this recent deflation of self-ego doesn't mean I roll over and die. No sirree. I am gonna bounce back better than before. How much better is still unknown, but hopefully better enough that I wouldn't have to go through this ever again. Ever. Monday, May 09, 2005 Tagboard does not work now.. Google hijacked it somehow. I've written to the Blogger staff about the issue, so meanwhile bear with it.. Haha.. Finally changed the blog skin... As you can see it's pretty unfinished and quite ugly (never could design anything properly), not as pretty as most others out there. Not bad considering this is probably the 2nd webpage I've designed in my whole life, though. I'll improve on it as time goes by lah. Was going to do another song blitz but it's late and I need to work tomorrow. Haha, goodnight. Saturday, May 07, 2005 SONG LYRICS BLITZ!!! 梁静茹《Fly Away》 歌名：You Make Me Want To Fall In Love 庾澄庆 《情非得已》 简单爱 Wednesday, May 04, 2005 Hehe been so long since my last post, bet no one checks this anymore! Was lazy, then i found a job (or rather a job found me - more on that later) so i became busy instead. Now I barely have time in front of the computer, and i spend that clearing my email and playing solitaire. so, um, nothing much to update here anyway. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anyway a job found me. I needed income, but I wasn't willing to go find a job, so I just told as many people as I could that I wanted a job, and waited to see what fell from the sky. So one job fell from the sky and hit me squarely in the head. I get to work for a very kind friend's mother, sorting invoices from last year. Not a very exciting job, but I used to be a school librarian, so I'm actually quite happy to do it. Sad thing is, not many people are as interested in sorting paper (and the occasional treasure-hunting) as I am, therefore the average life-span of a temp worker is 3 days. Plus point is that I get to meet quite a few people who are around my age, since a bunch of us just left the army, and the polytechnics are on holiday. Including a pretty gal who made today pass very quickly; one of the rare few people who can trade barbs with me happily without feeling *too* offended, haha. I enjoy a good argument once in a while, too. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Am taking driving lessons as well, just had my 4th lesson yesterday. Can drive on the roads now, although my instructor still sits on the edge of his seat, and had to "take over" once today, sigh. But I'm progressing fine and I'm confident that I'll be ready for my driving exam come September. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm also learning how to rollerblade! Still some slight problem with uneven terrain, but I know the basics and am starting to learn some nifty moves, hehe. Now I blade every sunday morning at East Coast with a bunch of friends. Really fun, and the suntan makes me look healthier too. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Met a lot of people these past 2 weeks, all of them old friends with whom I used to be rather close. I realise just how much I've missed, by spending inordinate amounts of time in front of the computer every day. I'm so much happier around people, especially now that I've become less shy and more self-confident. The human touch, the feeling of sitting in a cafe and sipping an ice-blend and just talking about anything and everything, is something not even IRC or MSN Messeging can substitute. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And it's late now and I've got work tomorrow. So, till next time... 不是在此时，不知在何时，我想大约会是在冬季 (!!) |
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