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Monday, May 16, 2005 First day of not working. Didn't feel like waking up this morning. The weather is wonderful, cool and with a slight drizzle outside. Furthermore it feels like there's nothing more to look forward to for today. But life, no matter how bleak, must go on. Had a really weird dream last night, lots of murder, and me in the midst of all the confusion. Being a clairvoyant is scary, when you know something has happened/is going to happen, but around you everyone is still ignorant of the impending disaster, still happily going about their lives. You want to scream at everyone, warn them of the danger, but that'll serve no purpose. So you become a horrified audience, watching the events unfold without power to do anything about it. Hmm, I think I've been reading too much Dean Koontz. I feel drained, like a zombie. How many days before I recover this time? Maybe I'll feel better once ying comes back from Malaysia. Not that I'll know when, because I don't think she'll tell me. Wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. Think that's highly unlikely. And that just makes me feel worse.
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