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Friday, December 29, 2006 It's an awful night. But you can tell as much by the fact that I'm blogging at 5.30 in the morning. A lot of things are swirling in my head, and it took me a lot of trouble to fall asleep. Then my hamsters had to wake me up, and I can't seem to get back asleep. First of all, apologies to the following people: LY for not being able to see you off as promised tonight, Sel for telling ya I'm was and then not going, TXP, Thong and Kiat for the hurried dinner and having to leave so early. I was late for the meeting but I didn't get scolded or anything. Not that it would have mattered if I did. My calendar is in a mess and I really ought to manage my personal affairs better than this (yay first New Year resolution). I've been forced to take a good look at myself again today, and what I've become since leaving the big R. When I hear, and see, how successful everyone's become, I can't help but feel inferior. And wonder what the ****'s happened to me. It's not the first time I feel like the class dunce. And I wonder if that's what drove me to leave the R family, to escape the expectations and the frustration of not living up to them. This sentence probably seems like the only rational one in the entire paragraph. But I do feel like a ****ed up failure sometimes. But anyway that was more to muse upon my reasons for leaving R than to bemoan my failure status.
Comments:
hey! you can't call yourself a failure! don't worry, you may be down and out now, or feel that way, but you'll get back up in NO TIME :)
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you have no reason to call yourself a failure... well, ok, you do know jq... but still, that's not reason enough! :) hehe. |
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