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Wednesday, September 13, 2006 "I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing" -- T. S. Eliot Indeed, what's happened over this past month has been better than I've expected. Perhaps, better even than what I've hoped for. And, apart from slapping myself occasionally to make sure I'm not dreaming, I must also continuously temper my hopes and expectations. Things don't always get better. They don't even always stay good. While I do still mourn the things I've had to let go of, had to sacrifice, the massive collateral damage and fallout, it is all thanks to everyone, family and friends, that I've never descended into despair or dejection. And now, with momentum picking up on all sides, the question I've had to ask myself most often is, "Am I ready to make the commitment? Am I up to it?" So I let myself be talked into first one thing and then another, deciding to be brave and take the step forward, to try my best and do something with my life. Now another such hurdle looms ahead, the same big one that I've tripped over before. Past which is the rabbit hole, a deep dark unknown, scary yet alluring. How deep does it go? What lies at the bottom? Am I brave enough to find out? All things can only be put off for so long.
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