The Human Instrumentality Project

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Tris wonders this question:

Do we love people BECAUSE of who they are,

or IN SPITE OF who they are?

Let me know what you think, I can't quite get my head around it.


Well, my reply turned out rather long, and therefore totally inappropriate for the tagboard. In fact, it's so long I might not manage to finish it before I go for classes. In which case I'll carry on tonight. Which must make you wonder, what am I going to say, that takes so long? Well, I've always had a problem putting my ideas into words, so the length of this is merely a reflection of my clumsy ways with words.




Nobody is perfect. Everybody has flaws. Whoever it is, there'll be some things you like about them and some things you don't (which might not be immediately apparent). In other words, there'll be reasons to hate her and reasons to love her. So when you love somebody, it'll be definitely be because of something she is. But that's not enough. Because, if this is all that love is, then there is nothing that separates love from admiration.

And what happens when the flaws of the person you claim to love are revealed? Admiration stops right here. Admiration does not cover flaws. But love does, love accepts the flaws, and in so doing becomes stronger.

Damn, I'm outta time. Do you catch my drift, Tris? Love is both because of who they are AND in spite of who they are. But what I think really defines love is when we love them in spite of who they are, it is only then that we can use the word Love to describe our feelings for them.


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