Sunday, March 26, 2006The 3 Nice PigsOnce upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. For many years they lived with their parents in the barn, but the time has come for them to go out and live on their own. The siblings found an open field some distance from the barn on which to build their houses. The first pig was a farmer, and had nothing to build a house with. So it went back to the barn, carried a lot of straw to the field, and began building a house of straw. The second pig was a woodcutter, and could easily get for itself a load of sturdy wood to build a house with. But it didn't want the first pig to feel bad, so it too went back to the barn, carried a lot of straw to the field, and began building a house of straw. The third pig was a bricklayer, and knew many friends in the city from whom it could get a nice batch of bricks to build a house with. But it didn't want the first and second pigs to feel bad, so it went back to the barn, carried a lot of straw to the field (much to the chargrin of the parents, who had no straw left to sleep on), and began building a house of straw. Soon, the houses were complete, and the pigs moved in. It was nice and cozy, and the straw let the wind in on hot days. The pigs were happy and comfortable as long as it didn't rain (whenever it did, they went back to visit the parents). The idyllic existence was shattered with the news of a Big Bad Wolf, who emerged from the forest one sunny day. Terrified, all the animals went back to their homes, to wait until the Wolf had starved to death. After tangling with the skunk, the porcupine and the sparrow to no avail, the Wolf had a stomach-full of anger (满腹怨气). From a distance, he spots the pigs' houses, large and prominent in the middle of an open field. So he goes down to try his luck there. After 3 unsuccessful attempts at getting food the straight-forward way, the Wolf was ready to change his tactics. So he went up to the first pig's house and knocked on the door. "W-w-w-who's th-th-there?" the first pig stammered. "Room service," said the Wolf. There was a pause, then nervous laughter erupted from the first pig's house. Disappointed, the Wolf went to the second pig's house and knocked. "W-w-w-who's th-th-there?" the second pig stammered. The Wolf thought for a moment, then said, "Good day, sir! Could you please give me 10 minutes of your time? I'll like to give you a demonstration of our wonderful stain remover.." "Go away!" shouted the second pig. Disgruntled, the Wolf went to the third pig's house and knocked. "W-w-w-who's th-th-there?" the third pig stammered. "Delivery for you, sir. I'll need you to sign the receipt." "What is it?" The first thing that came to the Wolf's mind, "Char siew!" "**** off!" Frustrated, the Wolf went back to the first pig's house and shouted, "Alright, no more Mr. Nice Wolf! I give you three seconds to open your door, else I'll huff, and puff, and blow your house down!" "Over my dead body!" screamed the first pig. So the Wolf huffed, and puffed, and blew the house away, leaving 01 x scared pig cowering on the floor. After eating the first pig, the Wolf was still feeling hungry. So it went up to the second pig's house and shouted, "Open the damn door right now, or I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!" "Over my dead body!" screamed the second pig. So the Wolf huffed, and puffed, and blew the house away, leaving 01 x scared pig cowering on the floor. After eating the second pig, the Wolf was satiated. But it didn't intend to leave the third pig alone. After all, it's not everywhere that it finds easy prey like this! So it went up to the third pig's house and shouted, "Open up, you fat ass! Or I'll huff, and puff, and blow your house down!" "**** off!" screamed the third pig. Even though it was in no condition to huff and puff, being bloated with 2 pigs in its stomach, it nevertheless attempted to huff, and puff, and gave out an enormous belch which had the same effect, leaving 01 x scared and disgusted pig sitting on the floor belting out curses. Midway through the third pig, the Wolf's stomach couldn't take it anymore and burst. And the Wolf died painfully of internal bleeding. The End. Moral of the Story: Don't overeat.
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