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Thursday, January 05, 2006 So it ends. And I'm disappointed, so disappointed and frustrated. It's ok that we didn't win a single match and didn't score a single goal, if we had deserved it. Problem is, we don't. Four months of hard training, good attendance every training, blood and sweat spilled and we played our hearts out. We simply did not deserve the result we got today, when it should be the fat men in green, the dirty men in red, or even the men in blue who deserve the indignity of being last. It is all the more upsetting because we have a great captain, a wonderful vice-captain, and a core of experienced players. Today was a bad bad day for me. I played badly and I'm ashamed to admit that. Maybe the heat got to me, maybe the pressure got to me, but ultimately I felt that I let the team down, the team and the captain. They have such high expectations of me, they expect me to contribute and attack and score and I did none of those. Though I was never blamed I feel guilty nevertheless. Maybe if I'd stuck to my fitness regime, ran regularly, practised sprints. Maybe if I'd skipped the chalet yesterday, or just slept during the night instead. But these are only maybes. The only redress is next season.
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