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Tuesday, June 15, 2004 Maybe, when I ORD finally, I'll look back on today and regard it as an experience of the 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' variety. However, these couple of days have truly been hellish for me. Credits go to 01 x RQMS who goes out of her way to make things difficult for me, 01 x team commander who tossed me his 11B and expected me to do his job for him, 01 x PC who rains water into my ship faster than I can bail it. "The light at the end of the tunnel" is still just 8 words, a spoken promise worth as much as the air it floats on, something that "will come, we just don't know when". CO was surprised at the lack of reaction from us NSFs, when he officially announced to us that we're all ORDing 2 months earlier. He expected applause, cheers, or some other general gesture of happiness. I commented to someone next to me, "But it doesn't make any difference NOW." To most ORD is yet another 'someday' concept, too far away to seem real. What's here and now is the day-to-day grind (insert hectic as well, for some), the on-off cookhouse food quality, the stuffy bunks, the rumour that nights-off will become a memory soon, the ATP shoot starting tomorrow. If the brass are looking for some signs of jubilation and celebration from us, they are going to be disappointed. I'm most probably going overseas July. A small weekend trip to Thailand with some of my bestest friends. Touched that they remembered to include me, didn't think anyone values me as much as I do them (or sometimes more than I do them, even!). My first trip overseas without accompanying parents, therefore all the more excited. Erm, does that mean I've been deprived all along? My plan to transfer entries from paper to here is spluttering. Too tired these couple of weeks to write, just wanna bathe, rot in front of the TV a while, then sleep. Or try to sleep, anyway. Woke up 20-over times yesterday night, every time thinking it was 6 and time to wake up. On-edge all the time, because I'll be working at a high tempo all day and sometimes at night as well. I'd rather be carrying stores like the rest, but I'm cursed with an aptitude for paperwork. Aargh, enough of whining. I wonder how everybody is? I'm sorry but when I'm tired I like to hide in my shell, even a trip out to the barber feels like a chore. Not that anyone tried to ask me out anwyay, grrr. Heh.
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