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Saturday, February 28, 2004 Loaded the tagboard. Feel free to use it. Friday, February 27, 2004 Changed the layout today. The preset layouts were getting boring. Next on my to-do list -- tagboard. Tomorrow maybe. Managed to get off for tomorrow. going to wake up late. And sleep late today too, by the looks of it. I once liked a girl, a very lovely girl called JY. The first time I met her was during a course I signed up for 3 years ago. The course was crappy, but I didn't mind attending because I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but she had intelligent eyes, a beautiful smile and an aur of self-confidence. The first and only time I had to make a presentation in that course, I nearly suffocated myself. Her eyes were on me and my eyes keep returning to her and my heart was in a marathon. She smiled at me and my knees jellied. All these might sound exaggerated but they're not, I can still recall that day vividly. After the course ended I saw her around school occasionally. I wanted to be friends with her but I had no middleman and I was too shy. Anyway everytime she walked by me my mind will be overwhelmed. All I can do is smile at her stupidly. It was hard to think straight whenever she was around. She was probably waiting for me to make the first move, because she did nothing but smile at me and send my heart into ecstatic stacattoes. It turned out that a friend's friend was in the same class as she was. It took me weeks to work up the courage to ask that friend for help. One evening after bowling training I finally called that friend. Could he tell me more about the girl? Could he engineer some chance to introduce me to her? Things started going downhill from there. The friend advised me to make any moves quickly, because she was getting attached soon. Someone had beaten me to the draw! I was stunned. I spent days brooding over the issue. What was I to do? Should I woo her, and fight for her affections? Should I instead spare her the anguish and headache and bow out of the competition? What were my chances anyway? I was neither handsome nor talented nor intelligent. I was weak, had sweaty palms, had no life, was poor, socially inept, and more. After days of agony, I had arrived upon a decision. One that I would regret to this day. I decided to give up and admit defeat, without a fight. I made clear my decision the next time she crossed my path. It was outside the school bookshop. She was walking towards me, and smiled at me as usual. But I gave her the cold shoulder. Ignoring the pain in my heart, I gave her a flat, I-do-not-know-you glance. Then I turned away and walked on. She got the message. Eventually she got attached to the other guy. Regret hung heavy on me. What-if scenarios played through my head. Everytime I saw them together I wished that guy was me. I tried to convince myself that she's better off with him but the crushing sense of loss remained in me. (To be continued) Why did I suddenly recall this incident? I chanced upon her friendster page, that's why. Reading her testimonials was painful -- it made me realise what a delightful girl I've let go. Maybe she would have gone with the other guy even if I tried wooing her but at least I will be at peace with myself. Now I tear myself to pieces wondering why I didn't try, why I let go without a fight. So here I have a message to anybody who reads my blog. Never ever let go of anything without trying to hold on first. Else you wouldn't be able to live with yourself. What you let go of might turn out to be priceless, and nothing you do now can get it back. Don't ever make that mistake. You never know until you try. I pray none of you reading this ever goes through what I have gone through. It's horrible, it's self-destructive. Hehehe. Snitched this list of BBC's list of top 200 most popular books from a friend (Hope you don't mind, JQ!). Am going to say a little smugly that I've read more books from here than he did, haha. Helped that some of the authors are amongst my favourites. Anyway here's the list (read books in BOLD) 1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien (Argh. Halfway through Two Towers.) 2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen 3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman 4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams 5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling 6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee 7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne 8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell 9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis 10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte 11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller 12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte 13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks 14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier 15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger 16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame 17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens 18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott 19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres 20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy 21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell 22. Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone, JK Rowling 23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling 24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling 25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien 26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy 27. Middlemarch, George Eliot 28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving 29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck 30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll 31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson 32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez 33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett 34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens 35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl 36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson 37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute 38. Persuasion, Jane Austen 39. Dune, Frank Herbert 40. Emma, Jane Austen 41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery 42. Watership Down, Richard Adams 43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald (Got 10 pages into the book. Then gave up. Oops.) 44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas 45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh 46. Animal Farm, George Orwell 47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens 48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy 49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian 50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher 51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett 52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck 53. The Stand, Stephen King 54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy 55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth 56. The BFG, Roald Dahl 57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome 58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell 59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer 60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky 61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman 62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden 63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens 64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough 65. Mort, Terry Pratchett 66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton 67. The Magus, John Fowles 68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman 69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett 70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding 71. Perfume, Patrick Suskind 72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell 73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett 74. Matilda, Roald Dahl 75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding 76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt 77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins 78. Ulysses, James Joyce 79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens 80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson 81. The Twits, Roald Dahl 82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith 83. Holes, Louis Sachar 84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake 85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy 86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson 87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley 88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons 89. Magician, Raymond E Feist 90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac 91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo 92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel 93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett 94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho 95. Katherine, Anya Seton 96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer 97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez 98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson 99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot 100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie 101. Three Men In A Boat, Jerome K. Jerome 102. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett 103. The Beach, Alex Garland 104. Dracula, Bram Stoker 105. Point Blanc, Anthony Horowitz 106. The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens 107. Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz 108. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks 109. The Day Of The Jackal, Frederick Forsyth 110. The Illustrated Mum, Jacqueline Wilson 111. Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy 112. The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 and a half, Sue Townsend 113. The Cruel Sea, Nicholas Monsarrat 114. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo 115. The Mayor Of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy 116. The Dare Game, Jacqueline Wilson 117. Bad Girls, Jacqueline Wilson 118. The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde 119. Shogun, James Clavell 120. The Day Of The Triffids, John Wyndham 121. Lola Rose, Jacqueline Wilson 122. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray 123. The Forsyte Saga, John Galsworthy 124. House Of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski 125. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver 126. Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett 127. Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison 128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle 129. Possession, A. S. Byatt 130. The Master And Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov 131. The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood 132. Danny The Champion Of The World, Roald Dahl 133. East Of Eden, John Steinbeck 134. George's Marvellous Medicine, Roald Dahl 135. Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett 136. The Color Purple, Alice Walker 137. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett 138. The Thirty-Nine Steps, John Buchan 139. Girls In Tears, Jacqueline Wilson 140. Sleepovers, Jacqueline Wilson 141. All Quiet On The Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque 142. Behind The Scenes At The Museum, Kate Atkinson 143. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby 144. It, Stephen King 145. James And The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl 146. The Green Mile, Stephen King 147. Papillon, Henri Charriere 148. Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett 149. Master And Commander, Patrick O'Brian 150. Skeleton Key, Anthony Horowitz 151. Soul Music, Terry Pratchett 152. Thief Of Time, Terry Pratchett 153. The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett 154. Atonement, Ian McEwan 155. Secrets, Jacqueline Wilson 156. The Silver Sword, Ian Serraillier 157. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Ken Kesey 158. Heart Of Darkness, Joseph Conrad 159. Kim, Rudyard Kipling 160. Cross Stitch, Diana Gabaldon 161. Moby Dick, Herman Melville 162. River God, Wilbur Smith 163. Sunset Song, Lewis Grassic Gibbon 164. The Shipping News, Annie Proulx 165. The World According To Garp, John Irving 166. Lorna Doone, R. D. Blackmore 167. Girls Out Late, Jacqueline Wilson 168. The Far Pavilions, M. M. Kaye 169. The Witches, Roald Dahl 170. Charlotte's Web, E. B. White 171. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley 172. They Used To Play On Grass, Terry Venables and Gordon Williams 173. The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway 174. The Name Of The Rose, Umberto Eco 175. Sophie's World, Jostein Gaarder 176. Dustbin Baby, Jacqueline Wilson 177. Fantastic Mr Fox, Roald Dahl 178. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov 179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach 180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery 181. The Suitcase Kid, Jacqueline Wilson 182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens 183. The Power Of One, Bryce Courtenay 184. Silas Marner, George Eliot 185. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis 186. The Diary Of A Nobody, George and Weedon Grossmith 187. Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh 188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine 189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri 190. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence 191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera 192. Man And Boy, Tony Parsons 193. The Truth, Terry Pratchett 194. The War Of The Worlds, H. G. Wells 195. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans (read the abridged version) 196. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry 197. Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett 198. The Once And Future King, T. H. White 199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle 200. Flowers In The Attic, Virginia Andrews 50 out of 200. Not bad a score. Surprisingly Terry Pratchett features heavily in this list. Most people I know do not appreciate his satire and humour. How many have you read? My first post. Excited that I've finally worked up the courage and the will to start a blog. As the waves of maturity lap upon the shores of innocence, as I leave the coccoon of school and move through the world of adults, as I meet more types of people than I thought existed, the need for a box to rant and gibber from becomes pressing. Get off my chest, transform into a binary stream and show yourselves to whoever is willing to share you, my thoughts and feelings, with me. I apologise, I get all faux poetic when I'm emotional. My English is rusty from disuse and misuse in the Army. Doesn't help that it is midnight where I am, way past my bedtime. Still got a busy day ahead of me. Stay tuned, the words will flow these few days. |
My friends PostSecret Sheares Hall Acers Jiaqi Purple^ Xuan Mystiara KH jiunwei Alvinny archives February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 May 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 September 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2013 September 2013 February 2014
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